Miscellaneous: Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him...

By public pooper - 25/04/2013 00:16 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 400

You deserved it 15 240

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Thanks dad…

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 20:27 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I was on the toilet, when the girl I really like decided to call. I'd left my cellphone in my room and my dad answered. All he said was, "He's taking a shit. This might take a while." and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 2 608

By wtfuraretard - 19/02/2010 20:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me over, all just to unclog his toilet. It was clogged because he put my phone in it while he was taking a dump to see if it would actually flush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 020

You deserved it 5 209

By ShitHappens - 24/10/2011 05:04 - United States

Today, while on the phone with my boyfriend, I really needed to poop. Badly. He was in the middle of telling a story, so I figured I could get away with muting the phone while on the toilet. Halfway through, he suddenly went silent. I forgot to mute the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 566

You deserved it 44 722

By toiletgirl - 14/12/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 943

You deserved it 63 838

By Anonymous - 31/01/2017 16:00 - United States - Rochester

Today, as I listened to the guy I've been seeing pour his heart out to me, all I could think about was how much I needed to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 730

You deserved it 1 543

By wendtinmypants - 31/05/2014 15:05 - United States - Omaha

Today, I took out my phone and realized I butt dialed my girlfriend and left her a 4 minute voicemail of me farting in an echoing toilet bowl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 900

You deserved it 9 217

By BatBee - 03/08/2016 02:29 - United States - Princeton

Today, my husband and I were talking about how we missed our sexting from when we were dating, so later I took a bath and texted him while he was relaxing in bed. His response ? "I'm tired and hurry up I need to poop." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 365

You deserved it 1 522

By ugh - 28/04/2009 21:49 - Canada

Today, I texted my crush that I can't come over and invited him over instead. I was so anxious for his reply I took my cell to the washroom with me. Just as I was pulling up my pants I heard something fall into the bowl, I turned around and watched my cell floating in the my own pee, vibrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 974

You deserved it 57 469

By luckygirl - 14/12/2009 09:05 - United States

Today, I was hit on by a guy who decided to use the line, "My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 985

You deserved it 4 525

By Lilly - 02/10/2013 12:43 - United States - Conway

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 681

You deserved it 124 330

simplysarcastics 26

Thursday 25 April 2013 10:08

Well he shouldn't be reading someones messages anyway. I dislike nosy people. Besides everyone has bowel issues every now and then...

torio123 27

Thursday 25 April 2013 10:15

Who were you sending messages to about your bowel movements? O_o

Comments

simplysarcastics 26

Thursday 25 April 2013 10:08

Well he shouldn't be reading someones messages anyway. I dislike nosy people. Besides everyone has bowel issues every now and then...

Epikouros 31

Thursday 25 April 2013 14:27

You're right, he shouldn't be nosy. And everybody has bowel movements, but most people have the decency not to send texts about them. I'm a pig with IBS and I don't even tell anybody - wait, I gotta run.

RodzillaX 30

Thursday 25 April 2013 10:14

How are your bowel movements?

Bakarra 22

Thursday 25 April 2013 10:16

Clearly noteworthy

Jharrist89 12

Friday 26 April 2013 2:33

And possibly not worthwhile

torio123 27

Thursday 25 April 2013 10:15

Who were you sending messages to about your bowel movements? O_o

oj101 33

Thursday 25 April 2013 11:30

Her doctor most likely.

samasara 20

Thursday 25 April 2013 12:48

Parents is my guess.

xStaciexLynnx 15

Thursday 25 April 2013 19:31

You text your doctor? Dang, I need to get in with mine like that. I bet I'd get my test results much faster.

kaybee41906 13

Tuesday 30 April 2013 1:54

I don't think it's weird at all if the messages were for her parents. I have a lot of digestive problems and I often end up texting my parents about it.

sigurd 11

Thursday 25 April 2013 10:16

That's not that bad?

KyraJFoxx 14

Thursday 25 April 2013 10:16

Just hope he didn't go through your messages OP. If he hasn't cracked any jokes or mysteriously vanished on you by now than he probably didn't even see the messages. That or he's respective and doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. & if that's the case , you've got nothing to worry about..If it helps

Bakarra 22

Thursday 25 April 2013 10:18

He's a guy, if he's immature he'll think it's funny if he's mature he'll understand either way there's a pretty good chance he didn't read the messages anyways...