Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML
Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds, then said, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, I went out to lunch with two old friends from high school. While at the restaurant, we saw a girl who we graduated with. The girl gave both of them hugs, then introduced herself to me. FML
Today, I asked a very attractive girl out, then later I ended up talking with her. One of my friends comes up to us and points out that I'm beet red and, "blushing like a bitch". She notices and laughs. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML
Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML
Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML
Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML
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Top comments
AmpulexCompressa 0
Uh oh, the girl you want to get with doesn't know you exist. Your life clearly sucks.
hk_fml 9
O_o well then tell her you sit to the left of her in biology! Maybe she'll feel a bit bad about it and you'll be able to use that to get her to go out with you?
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Comments (105)
tamarra_fml 0
If she didn't even recognize your face let alone your name ... she's either really concentrated in that class or incredibly stupid. don't worry about it.
lym777 0
Believe it or not ... some humans are capable are thinking of one another with respect, as equals, and still being able to carry on a flirtatious conversation without the stakes being too high. I understand needing to calm the nerves, but if you have to rely on mental misogyny to do that, something is wrong. Trust me, when you start thinking that someone is less than you, eventually it shows. I've picked up some women myself... I didn't need to think of them as a lesser person than me to do that. Being a human with good conversation skills and not putting people on an impossible pedestal are good points, though. As are your numbered tips, which basically equate to: don't be a codependent, controlling kind of person, and have your own life. From my experience, the cocky guys who set out to bed every girl they could insult - well, occasionally they could make it work (see Tucker Max), but more often than not they ended up lonely and bitter. The sweet, slightly nerdy, intelligent, hardworking, and sexy types are still with the girl, or getting married, or having their first kid.
PaulieeBooMN 0
Okayy, don't bitch that I didn't reply to the person I can't, I'm on my phone but to tell ya the truth #12 is righttt dude
log1k 3
obviously she's an ignorant bitch who's got such a big ego she thinks the world revolves around her and doesn't give a shit about any one else. Find another girl.
DameGreyWulf 1
I know people don't know who I am, I am quiet too. But there's a difference between not knowing somebody and completely not recognizing someone you see every day, even if you don't know them. I recognize the quiet kids, too.... maybe that's just bias because I am also quiet, hah. I suppose OP could just be so plain-looking she disregards him? Which kind of makes her even more conceited, but then it would also be his fault. I still don't believe he is quiet or shy, though. Like I said, if he was, the conversation wouldn't have gone so smoothly that he gained her interest.
frawd_fml 0
lower your standards and date the girl to Your left. still talk to the girl on the right though. she's probably way cuter
aksteve 4
I give pimpin credit for trying to speak his mind in a mostly productive way. I'm a bit surprised his first manifesto is buried...while some may not agree with it, it wasn't offensive, showed some effort, and stayed within reasonable realm of discussion regarding this FML. What I find even funnier is the people telling him to get a life...anyone reading FML and commenting on it isn't exactly on very solid ground to criticize another doing the same thing.
Caldwell94 0
This sounds like its straight out of a 90's sitcom
aksteve 4
Really? Your last paragraph seems to be the exact opposite of what I see and experience...maybe it's that "sexy" part...
DameGreyWulf 1
Pimpin, dear boy, if you are pretending to be someone else, or having to trick a girl to love you, you are failing at the game of love. =/ Unless you're all about getting into pants with any girl you ever meet, which makes most of your "relationship" advice amount to null. Also actually I was talking about a physical look. Clothes all look like clothes, unless you wear something like... jeez a rainbow tie lol, yeah, be original. For example: one guy I noticed right away was a complete greaseball... that's how I noticed him, he stood out by being ... disgusting.... Standing out isn't always a good thing, ahaha.. More positively; another guy I noticed (same class) was an older male. He stood out in the class because he had a serious face/scowl on most of the time, shaved head, and had muscles. But if one of the "plain" guys wore a rainbow tie to class, I'd definitely remember him too. And I sure as hell would hope the guy I liked thought of me above other women. If he is nervous, I understand. If he's a kiss-ass, I'll set him straight. But he better think I'm better than others in some way (preferably more than one or in general) if he supposedly loves me. Now *I* sound like an asshole, but is it too much to ask to be loved the most if you're supposed to be loved the most? Even if he just subconciously does it, or does it for attitude, that still counts as what he thinks of me. As for the tricking, that just means she doesn't REALLY want you. If you have to trick, it seems to me like she's gonna be an easy one to lose to cheating... or that you're going to have to keep buying her off. You failed at your point. You get a girl to like you by having her get to know you, maybe being just a little upfront/attention-grabby, but certainly not tricking her. Nobody really likes a pretender/poser. If she can't like the real you, you must obviously move on instead of trying to continuously force yourself on her. Also I would stop saying "I get a lot of girls," "I know what you REALLY want," and the like. People are going to disregard your posts if you brag or put yourselves above others. The latter quote implies you don't think women can think for themselves. That would also nullify your post.