Miscellaneous: Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and...

By pissingcontest - 30/05/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 647

You deserved it 46 022

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Same thing different taste

By pissfaced - 02/01/2010 13:41 - New Zealand

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 127

You deserved it 73 391

AKA taking a screenshot

By Anonymous - 05/10/2020 11:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 382

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 134

You deserved it 47 925

By urinanalysis - 03/12/2009 16:08 - Canada

Today, I went to get blood and urine tests done before work. As I was attempting to aim into the cup, I lost balance and slipped. I ended up peeing on my sleeves and my pants. I was late for work and I smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 363

You deserved it 7 312

Keeping warm

By Anonymous - 22/01/2021 11:01

Today, thanks to my habit of peeing in the shower, I accidentally peed in the bath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 284

No good deed…

By Dinho - 15/05/2009 21:22 - United States

Today, I was in a public bathroom, when a little boy walked in and he had an 'accident'. He asked if I could help him clean it up, so I decided to help. I started to walk to him to assist him. That's when I walked straight into the pee and slipped. My whole back was covered in pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 116

You deserved it 6 672

Stage 1?

By Waterfalls - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 574

You deserved it 10 821

Sprinkler system

By missed - 25/06/2021 14:01 - United States

Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 1 379

By Pissy pants - 24/11/2018 13:30

Today, I had a horrible headache on my way home from lunch. I pulled over and vomited so forcefully I peed my pants, a lot. I had pee in my shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 183

You deserved it 226

Streaming

By Soiled - 12/02/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I lost my balance while peeing. I'll let your imagination do the rest. In the meantime, I'm going to take a shower and change my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 189

jengen 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 9:46

that's definitely some serious pee session.

HeyitsPheddy 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 9:48

kinky.

Comments

XxDemonxX 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 9:45

That sucks. but seriously you should of stood normal. one your focused on your man hood. stay alert. lmfao. and first? ;D

jesbar95 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 23:10

Maybe you should have stopped pissing.

Atomosk 3

Friday 24 February 2012 5:57

That comment literally made no sense...

toxic_hippos 11

Tuesday 23 September 2014 3:46

You can't just stop..

ILookAtFMLs 13

Tuesday 9 December 2014 17:32

#77 Oh, wow. I thought it figuratively made no sense.

jengen 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 9:46

that's definitely some serious pee session.

ryguy997 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 20:39

serious? hah lol

ryguy997 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 20:40

a serious piss? WTF!?!? hah lol. DAMN ANTI FLOOD!!!!!

HeyitsPheddy 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 9:48

kinky.

BaldOuting 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 9:49

YDI. end of story.

Hazimius 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 9:50

FYL for poor bladder control.

arcturusvi 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 9:51

That sucks. It's hard not to get too relaxed with those kinds of pisses.

Lifey66 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 9:53

this is why its better to be a girl sometimes.

plethora 3

Saturday 30 May 2009 9:56

"A serious piss"? Ahahaha. Pissing r srs bizness!

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 30 May 2009 10:03

Hahaha, I almost wish i was there to see that. #8 made my day.

rallets 22

Saturday 30 May 2009 10:07

jeez man, you sprayed all over me. there i am, taking a piss, when all of a sudden, OLD FAITHFUL out of nowhere.

ryguy997 0

Saturday 10 April 2010 20:42

HAHAHAHAHA ROFLMAO! DAMN ANTI FLOOD!!!!!!!! DAMN ANTI FLOOD!!!!!!!!

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The Top

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend felt the need to ask me if I could get my ladder and clean the ceiling, because it looked dusty with a spiderweb in the corner. I didn’t realise I was so boring in bed that she had the time to examine the ceiling and plan my chore list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 973

You deserved it 496

Today, I emailed out class requirements for the upcoming school year. I had to include, "No toys, no bottles, no pacifiers, and children must be fully potty trained in order to attend." At least 3 parents complained. I teach second grade, and none of them is special needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 87

The Top

Today, after finding out that I'd slept with our married neighbor, I found out my husband had slept with him too as revenge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 974

Today, I confronted my very passive-aggressive roommate about taking out the trash. With a smug smile, she insisted that I should write her a letter if I want to argue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 096

You deserved it 1 490

Today, a colleague told me he was pretending to be me on a dating site, and that he has four pending dates. Last time I tried being myself, my first and only date pushed me down some stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 921

You deserved it 1 693

Today, I got my new license plate, which is the story of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 715

You deserved it 451

Today, my thundercunt of a neighbor, who's hated me since I moved in, called the cops on me. He told them he saw me shooting up on drugs. I'm diabetic and was injecting insulin, which he could only have seen by spying on me through my living room window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 995

You deserved it 2 224

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 855

You deserved it 9 858

Same thing different taste

AKA taking a screenshot

Keeping warm

No good deed…

Stage 1?

Sprinkler system

Streaming

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