By Izamellayella - 15/11/2011 01:29 - United States
Izamellayella tells us more.
I just now realized that this was posted, and, yes, I do realize that it was more than two months ago. He was actually my friend's old roommate, and she introduced us around a year ago. We didn't really interact that much but I thought that he was nice, so when he asked me out, I decided that I'd at least give him a chance. For the record, it wasn't some elaborate ultra-expensive fancy restaurant, but the meal certainly wasn't cheap. I've been in the habit of offering to pay for my meals for a while now, and I certainly wasn't expecting that kind of reaction for him. And no, I don't think that the guy paying for the date is sexist. I don't see why the girl can't pay sometimes, though, and I was just trying to be nice. If he'd wanted to pay, he could have told me instead of freaking out like that. He never called me back after that, but even if he did, I wouldn't have gone on another date with him. I enjoyed reading your comments! Most of you guys are really funny.
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Hopefully this is the last time. Although I definitely wouldn't throw a fit, there's nothing quite as embarassing as going on a date and not being able to pay. Of course, I'm probably talking more about when you *can't* pay. It's not exactly specified, but if OP's date had money but was upset that OP footed the bill, the it sounds more like he has a issue of pride with the whole thing. It's slightly more logical if he couldn't pay, and/or was under a great deal of stress. Juat have him pay next time, unless this attitude keeps up, in which case, find someone else.
yeah...I don't get it either way...I would've thought to myself, "This gal's a keeper", smirked, and enjoyed the fact I had extra cash in my wallet--after a date. AND if it was a good date, and I liked her, I'd probably start imagining marriage in the future. Sound crazy? You'd be surprised how important being equal partners factors into being married. this gal is a truly progressive and liberated woman. she's not just "sayin' it"...with her tattoos and harlotry. I dunno what is the root of the issue, obviously there are two versions how how/why he did react that way, but it is kind of weird. I really hope (for the datee's sake) this wasn't one of their first dates...it might be one of the last.
I agree. I always offer to pay for the bill or at least my half because that's how my mom raised me and I think it's only fair. It's always nice though when the guy offers to pay instead. I honestly don't see how there is anything wrong with either side of it except for social stigmas.
yeah...but I'm pretty sure the sentiment he got from old pops was "NEVER let a WOMAN pay for you [insert: on date, medical bill--EVER]". Though he didn't say it, I'm sure that's how it was wired into his brain. C'mon, I'm fairly sure his dad didn't infer the same if his son was dating a guy...or would he. We can debate that, with the poster's input, of course. He can tell us what kind of man his dad is and how he wanted him to grow up.
Only because of the fit this guy threw i would reccoment op not go back out with him. He sounds unstable. That being said(I know here come the thumbs down) some men really have it instilled in them to provide and pay for things for the women they go out with and love. They are not trying to down grade the woman, but rather just the opposite. whether its right or wrong It makes some guys uncomfortable, like they are not doing their job providing, when the woman pays. For some men it is very emasculating like for some women it makes them feel less of a women it would be mortifying for the husband to expect them to change the oil on the car(nobody get upset i am a woman and i enjoy car work) I am simply saying while many people no longer are that traditional, some people are and as long as they dont throw a fit like ops date the men that are should not be considered to be chauvanistic. No more thwn a womanm who likes to do traditionally male things should be considered dyky