Today, I was hanging out with a group of friends when I got into a conversation with this really attractive girl who I've liked for months. She asked me what school I go to. I sit to her left in biology. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML
Today, I asked out one of the girls that hangs out in my group of friends (the same group I have been hanging out for three years). She stared at me for a couple of seconds, then said, "Who the hell are you?" FML
Today, I went out to lunch with two old friends from high school. While at the restaurant, we saw a girl who we graduated with. The girl gave both of them hugs, then introduced herself to me. FML
Today, I asked a very attractive girl out, then later I ended up talking with her. One of my friends comes up to us and points out that I'm beet red and, "blushing like a bitch". She notices and laughs. FML
Today, I was hitting on a girl who was getting ready to walk into the same class as me. We were waiting outside the room, so I told her that I'd heard the professor for the course was a total bitch. We walked into the room. I sat down at a desk. She stood behind the podium. FML
Today, I saw the girl I've been crushing hard on. I go up to talk to her, and I'm immediately greeted by, "I like girls." FML
Today, I started playing footsie with the girl I like next to me in Biology. Turns out it was the table leg. FML
Today, I sat to the right of a girl I really like. I passed her a note asking her to homecoming. She read it, then hurriedly passed it to a hideous girl sitting on her left, who said yes, then hugged me. FML
Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML
Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML
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Top comments
AmpulexCompressa 0
Uh oh, the girl you want to get with doesn't know you exist. Your life clearly sucks.
hk_fml 9
O_o well then tell her you sit to the left of her in biology! Maybe she'll feel a bit bad about it and you'll be able to use that to get her to go out with you?
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Comments (105)
Shady_313 0
first!
nammz 0
You need a life
lym777 0
... and how many dates has this gotten you? Speaking as a woman, the "dating rules" you speak of make you sound like a cocky jerk. If you acted this way around me or the women I know, we would read it as "person to avoid in all situations." Confidence is good. Thinking of the women you're attracted to as beneath you? Not so much.
thepowerofone 0
i agree with #15 dude, if you took that much time to write that you need a life
plexico 4
If you cannot find an excuse to talk to a girl you sit next to in class, you are too pathetic to acknowledge in the real world. Usually, there's time before class, maybe a little after class and sometimes when the prof is fiddling with the projectors or whatever. Here are some suggestions: Excuse me. May I borrow a pencil? May I borrow a sheet of paper? Don't you think our prof is a dork/dick/genius? Was the assignment due today? Did you find it difficult? It took me hours! Do you have the exact time? (Look like you are trying to set your watch.) What's your major? Are you a pre-med? Will you give me a Dirty Sanchez? Memorize them. Rehearse them. And let them get your lame ass noticed.
Intoxicunt 6
Haha, damn you, you beat me to it! Although I was going to say he should have used a pickup line, such as, "I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your Bedrock!" Go to bed.
DameGreyWulf 1
Oh **** so the guy who asked for a pen today was hitting on me? ... I didn't even look at his face lol
Intoxicunt 6
Yeah, that pen was the most phallic thing he thought he could ask you for. :)
Hawk3487 0
A.) Yeah you probably should've said something in class. but... B.) She's even less observant and probably doesn't know she's in biology. While you set yourself up for the awkwardness, you might be dodging a bullet. So... congrats?
Fetus_ink 0
Maybe you should grow a pair off balls in your fleshy sack and actually talk to girls instead of watching red tube all day.
vaxc 17
of*
trekkie44 0
idk i can see how you would be upset that she didnt even RECOGNIZE you, but still you should have gotten over shyness (which im assuming you have if you havent even spoken a single word to her) and at least said something. for crying out loud.
pinkdancer 0
Megaduche!!
DameGreyWulf 1
I like how everyone assumes he was too shy to say anything to her ever. I mean, yeah, that could be the case, but if that's true then the conversation would have gone too awkwardly for her to ask anything about him, I would think. Meaning, he spoke confidently to her, and did it a lot, during the conversation. He probably HAS said some minor things to her before, or he's spoken in front of the class several times. It is really, really hard to not recognize somebody you sit right next to, too, even if they never speak. It sounds to me like the girl was pretty self-absorbed. I mean, jeez, it's only been a few days into my classes, and I already recognize some of the people in them... not a lot, but obviously the few who stand out and some others, and some of them don't sit anywhere near me. I don't know any of their names yet, but really... fairly difficult to not recognize someone you see every day who sits next to you.
Puolukka 4
I agree. When I was in highschool there were some people that didn't even have the same classes as me, nor did I ever speak to them...I still knew who most of them were and at least recognized that they go to my school.