Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
songstress4life 0
Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!
Shadowflames420 0
she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!
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Comments (115)
effit 0
I hope you stopped going down on her and dumped her ass.
effit 0
Awww # 45, what you talking about, a good hickey is always enjoyable... especially when they're suckin like crazy (anywhere but the neck of course).
Phillay632 0
Well, it sucks to be you... no pun intended.
soozin 0
agree with most people, I think its a bruise, it doesnt make sense how she would express so openly about cheating esp WHILE you guys are having sex.
BamxBitch 0
That's ****** up. I hope you dumped that bitch.
jsmith1199 4
#3 and #24.. so ******* what if she was honest.. shes still a stupid *****. #17.. who cares if they were exclusive or not? if they werent exclusive and she was multiple guys do that, then shes a *****. if they were exclusive and she was having multiple guys do that, shes a *****. #44.. you must also be a cheating **** ANY WAY YOU LOOK AT IT SHE IS A DUMB BITCH WHO MUST BE TAUGHT A LESSON I vote take a bat to her face. But that's just me.
theoldGP 0
haha wtf. she should have just lied and said yeah you did. UNLESSSSS like omg here comes the breaking point: maybe it wasnt a hickey.. maybe it was a rash or something haha idk. and thats why she quickly said you didnt do it.... cause you never even mentioned (to her at least) that it was a hickey WHY IS EVERYONE CALLING HER A *****? you can't judge based on the info given in the story
bchristina5 0
you didn't punch her in the twat for that shit??
WellThatSuckz 14
^^^ EXACTLY!!!
braFTW 0
Are you absolutely sure that the mark wasn't from something else?.. I know that her answer was weird but it still doesn't prove anything, unless she said otherwise and you didn't mention it.