Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "Wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!" Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't." FML
Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Things got heated and I yelled, "Who's your daddy?" With a blank expression she replied, "I don't know." FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML
Today, I put the vacuum cleaner hose against my neck to give me a hickey, so that it would look like I got some action. FML
Today, my friends decided it would be funny to give me a "hickey" with a vacuum cleaner while I was passed out drunk. Not only do I have to try and explain this to my girlfriend, but we're meeting her parents for lunch this afternoon. FML
Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
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Top comments
songstress4life 0
Wow... she didn't even kinda feel remorseful. Sorry, dude!
Shadowflames420 0
she still your girlfriend? wtf is wrong with you! dump her!
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Comments (115)
audiogasmic 0
I hope you punched her in the vag. Cheating *****.
takeyb0y2 0
It's just a hickey...
esagalyn 0
I'm willing to bet it wasn't a hickey. It was probably just a bruise - I get them on my hips all the time from bumping into tables. I really don't think she would have been that mean... besides, who gets hickeys on their hips?
Silhouette_fml 0
At least she's honest...
maedoc 0
i do hope you had the sense to falcon punch her
Jigsy 0
Could be a bruise? Either that or she could be really flexible?
bdogg 0
Probably razorburn or something. This is totally misleading and stupid.
voice_of_reason 0
"Without even interrupting the action?" You were the one doing something, no? So you're saying *you* didn't stop? #6 - LOL
kinkysexx 0
27 - who the **** shaves their hips?
sagittaurus 0
haha. 29.