Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. As I was about to give him head, I saw he had so much left over toilet paper stuck to his nuts. It kind of turned me off but I didn't want to say anything because he's one of the sweetest guys ever. After he nutted, he got up and there was toilet paper crumbs on his bed and ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ewmoldycheese 14
That blows
xleanne_aLly 23
Buy him and yourself baby whipes OP. I thought it sounded weird first too. But I have a lot of friends with babies, who obviously own baby whipes. She (and now myself) use them after toilet paper, when she's on her period or a poop. Her boyfriend uses baby whipes after he poops too. It makes sense right? Ohana, it means nothing is left behind or forgotten Neither of you will have this problem again.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (151)
DenverTyrrell 13
Ewww...just...how?
annarcheer 19
oh gosh that's really nasty.. haha sorry op
worldclassrager 41
What did you do ignore or point it out?
sullivankeara 25
Mmmm seasoning
FATALSTR1KE 9
Why'd you stop?
tnlander 20
Capt. we've got Klingons circling Ur anus
141cohanj 7
Good thing you weren't giving a rim j.
ostfaiz 18
Did you through up?
Dvelazquez 16
*throw up.
Saraishi 25
Baby wipes all the day. People tend to mock you for using them but at least you always have a clean ass.
AloysiusWeasley 15
That's right up there with that disgusting trash "White Collar Comedy" where the fact slob in the hot tub wanted the chick to come over and pop some gigantic zit on his back. I enjoy fellatio, but I would gag and run away. Unscented baby wipes is definitely right, and I'd buy him a box and hand them over before running for the horizon. Yuckers!
GeneralDerp 5
You mean blue collar comedy, right?
cryssycakesx3 23
over dramatic, eh?