Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. As I was about to give him head, I saw he had so much left over toilet paper stuck to his nuts. It kind of turned me off but I didn't want to say anything because he's one of the sweetest guys ever. After he nutted, he got up and there was toilet paper crumbs on his bed and ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
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Top comments
ewmoldycheese 14
That blows
xleanne_aLly 23
Buy him and yourself baby whipes OP. I thought it sounded weird first too. But I have a lot of friends with babies, who obviously own baby whipes. She (and now myself) use them after toilet paper, when she's on her period or a poop. Her boyfriend uses baby whipes after he poops too. It makes sense right? Ohana, it means nothing is left behind or forgotten Neither of you will have this problem again.
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Comments (151)
miianah1 22
lol what did you do after that?? Giggle and casually pick it out?
TrippingOnAcid 29
My ex used to have dried shit encrusted onto the hair around his butthole...ain't it fun
amadeclton 27
Oh, God. That is truly vile.
brokenjawskhan 21
#13 Eww, That's gross you ruined my day. So ******* disgusting. X_X
brivielle 15
ughhhhhhh....limits woman, limits.
KaneHunter 22
TMI #13
Saraj07 18
You really didn't need to share that.
TrippingOnAcid 29
And OP didn't need to share this...what's the difference?
elcee1987 18
Lol tmi or not, you had to see it! Glad he's an ex
GentlemanBastard 15
Lol dingleberries.
bigphil75 4
Damn ur nasty! No wonder he's ur ex! ?
davincidasecond 24
Woooow, WAY too much info, lady. I got enough unpleasant images in my head reading the fml, I don't need anymore. And I'm so, so sorry you had to go through that. Wow, that's nasty.
pussystank 18
Why were you that close to your EX's asshole?
MzZombicidal 36
Probably because different people are into different sexual things, #116. Simple as that. This FML is an example of how you can be that close as well...
Hiimhaileypotter 53
#116 Probably because they were together when she found out, but NOW they are ex's...
Si123 33
This makes me gag
FreeRunn3r 12
I understand that's a thing but you're being to blunt for an fml site.
Classy_Persian 0
Yuck this is why I don't do oral guys @-@
tony1891 22
WHAT?! oral is the better than a cup of coffee and a shower. as long as that persons clean.
BBlah 26
#30 - although it's rare, not everyone's into oral
Lil_Red777 21
I'm not particularly fond of giving oral but I do like receiving it so I'm polite. But if my fiance ever had toilet paper stuck to his ass like that I'd make him shower immediately.
truckers_wife 23
That happened to me once. We were traveling over the road and public restroom toilet paper falls apart so easily. I learned my lesson after that. If I use poor quality toilet paper I make sure I'm clean!
gurbism 16
Gotta get with the baby wipes
bigphil75 4
Got that right! I 2ND that gurbism I use wipes myself gotta stay fresh n clean ?!
tony1891 22
alrighty then. pass the brain bleach please!
brendejafulable 41
Next time maybe wait until he showers.. so you know he should be cleaner.
DarkArbiter5555 10
Sounds like he needs Charmin
martin8337 36
He needs to learn how to wipe his ass. Get rid of y he dingleberries.
Enslaved 38
I know some guys complain about going down on a girl and dealing with those TP fuzzy balls on their cooche. Tasting like baby wipes isn't any better. I grew up in a culture that we always own bidet. Well worth an investment at your local Home Depot!
GentlemanBastard 15
I've had a few instances of little pee flavored balls of tp in my mouth. It happens. You say "ew that's gross" and you carry on.
syed121417 22
I sometimes wonder why bidets weren't adopted into american culture as a normal thing. My uncle has a bidet in all of his bathrooms and I feel like more people would benefit from it. It's a bit more money, but definitely worth it.
truckers_wife 23
can someone fill us in on what a "bidet" is?
ItsATwinThing 9
#97 A shower for your ass basically...
Enslaved 38
It's used to wash your booty. There are bidet attachments that you can hook up to your standard toilet. No excuse not to be clean down there when it's sexy time.
truckers_wife 23
You hook it up to your toilet... does that mean it uses toilet water? I don't know if I like the whole idea of this device...