Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room, he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me, I spread my legs to help out. He then looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend. As I was about to give him head, I saw he had so much left over toilet paper stuck to his nuts. It kind of turned me off but I didn't want to say anything because he's one of the sweetest guys ever. After he nutted, he got up and there was toilet paper crumbs on his bed and ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML
Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, "Oh my god, this is good shit." I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML
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Top comments
ewmoldycheese 14
That blows
xleanne_aLly 23
Buy him and yourself baby whipes OP. I thought it sounded weird first too. But I have a lot of friends with babies, who obviously own baby whipes. She (and now myself) use them after toilet paper, when she's on her period or a poop. Her boyfriend uses baby whipes after he poops too. It makes sense right? Ohana, it means nothing is left behind or forgotten Neither of you will have this problem again.
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Comments (151)
nihar_1296 12
He seriously blew it! :P
dutchfuture 3
dont worry, ive had worse. once when i was giving my boyfriend head there was still some s*** left around his hole...
asylumlane 23
New rule: blow jobs only after showers.
elcee1987 18
That's always been my rule.
vikky538 29
may be easy access to post job clean up...
ckerane 16
shouldn't it be him writing an fml
vivaellefashion 14
I was reading your FML while I was eating. IDI ...sorry op that's gross
erikahall21 9
dingleberries
flee2321 10
Lots of guys complain that this happens with girls. It's made me paranoid. Lol. But I guess it happens both ways. I feel like it's worse for the guy. They are actually right where the paper is.
wolfy_fml 5
lol Oh man. I hate dry TP. I only use baby wipes now. Best thing ever. :D
Petey801 5
You wouldn't ever have to worry about that with me! ;)