Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said, "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he was coming back to say he's joking, he instead says, "Just kidding, it's really cheap." and walked off. I may or may not still have a job. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I'd gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student here. This happens all the time. FML
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML
Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied, "No", he said, "You mean you always look like that?" FML
Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML
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Top comments
SpunkT 0
Yeah why would you be responsible for having an idiot friend? Also you could have just said something to the effect of "Don't mind him, he's an idiot" and pretend he's not your friend. And then later tell him not to bother you when you're working cause it's really rude.
24788 7
I do stupid things like this all the time to my friends. You need to lighten up and relax about it.
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Comments (91)
dammn 0
ROFLROFLROFLROFLROFL . HAAAAAAA .
notyouraverage 0
50 is quite annoying. my dad also owns a very successful business and i too could make bank following his path but he is forcing me to go to school. you prolly like the smell of your own farts. i hope you die poor and as stupid as you are now.
katie_6098 0
haha that's actually pretty funny.You shouldn't lose your job over something that you had no control over. We have small tour groups around campus sometimes, usually parents and their kids. You can always pick them out. One time a group came into one of the dining halls, and this kids started yelling stuff like 'don't come here' and 'send us your virgins'. it was pretty funny.
BrannFYR 0
Your friend provided a valuable service!! I would have liked to have known that when i was picking out colleges...
LavaMonster 0
what a jerk haha but that's still funny : )
nomo_fml 0
This FML doesn't even make sense.
Evee_fml 0
******* with tour groups is the only highlight of living in this shithole
Kel0615 0
#17- 1. Wow, dude, it was a joke- not an attack. Albeit, I'll admit it was a tad snarky. 2. Though you say you did not attack anyone, you directly stated several times that "college is a waste", therefore implying that those who are attending college are dumb for wasting their time and making inferior life choices. 3. That's great about the family business. You are fortunate that you have such resources available to you. If only everyone was so lucky. 4. "If that person hadn't of made a snarky diss at me, I wouldn't have had to DEFEND myself from his personal, ignorant attack." Speaking of ignorant, that "his" should be a her. Kel is Kelly for short.
whocaresnotme 0
o well. youll live
Saiduck 0
as long as the school doesnt know it was your friend. you're fine.