Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said, "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he was coming back to say he's joking, he instead says, "Just kidding, it's really cheap." and walked off. I may or may not still have a job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I'd gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student here. This happens all the time. FML
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML
Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied, "No", he said, "You mean you always look like that?" FML
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Top comments
SpunkT 0
Yeah why would you be responsible for having an idiot friend? Also you could have just said something to the effect of "Don't mind him, he's an idiot" and pretend he's not your friend. And then later tell him not to bother you when you're working cause it's really rude.
24788 7
I do stupid things like this all the time to my friends. You need to lighten up and relax about it.
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Comments (91)
lazyyygirl 0
this is a dumb fml.
GoldenArias 0
#17-- have you ever even BEEN to college? It IS NOT babysitting. It's a LOT more than that. And like with everything else in life, you get what you put into it. You are so full of sh*t that it would take way too long for me to refute the crap you're spitting out.
ams7509 0
nice one mary! that's right, I WAS THAT GUY and the girl that wrote this is my RA! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
manic44 0
Your Friend Is Funny. Need 2 Meet Him Some Time
ughwhatever 0
SO FML worthy! love it... hystericalllllllll... and think about it people...this poor tour guide was stuck with this group of potential students after this embarassing statement by a person he/she is clearly friends with ... wowww .. just the thing I needed to cheer me up today hahaha
ughwhatever 0
SO FML worthy! love it... hystericalllllllll... and think about it people...this poor tour guide was stuck with this group of potential students after this embarassing statement by a person he/she is clearly friends with ... wowww .. just the thing I needed to cheer me up today hahaha
funnyyy 0
i agree with #77 and im pretty sure they wouldnt go snitch everyone does it..
nsoto214 0
AS
scarlett29 0
Hahaha! That's funny.
Lolersauczors 0
Wtf?