Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said, "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he was coming back to say he's joking, he instead says, "Just kidding, it's really cheap." and walked off. I may or may not still have a job. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I'd gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student here. This happens all the time. FML
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML
Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied, "No", he said, "You mean you always look like that?" FML
Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML
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Top comments
SpunkT 0
Yeah why would you be responsible for having an idiot friend? Also you could have just said something to the effect of "Don't mind him, he's an idiot" and pretend he's not your friend. And then later tell him not to bother you when you're working cause it's really rude.
24788 7
I do stupid things like this all the time to my friends. You need to lighten up and relax about it.
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Comments (91)
Jefe_fml 0
lol he probably helped your job out actually, well minus the parents maybe.
lynne41089 0
i was a tour guide for my school. you prolly have a job but i know how anxious you can be. my favorite "friends ******* me over" experience? i was tour guiding in the summer, my boyfriend was staying in my suite. he can drink...a lot. we had a bunch of beer that weekend which was in recycling bags hidden from sight. he thought he'd be funny and surprise me with a sculpture made of beer like a zillion beer bottles. needless to say when we opened the door to the suite, i decided against showing them a dorm room...
Floridaguy81 0
Wow..get a better friend.
RunZoneFive 0
Hah, sorry man but I think thats a pretty good joke on your friend's part
louisianagrrrrl 0
i dont see why you would lose your job, just say you didnt know the dude. plus that would encourage me to go to a school!
Silhouette_fml 0
I'm sure the people you were touring realized he was just making a joke.
pencilmustache 0
l could barely read due to all the spelling errors. way to go, mods.
tiltwrestler 0
#40, I get what you're saying: Most people who dislike college do so because they goofed off in high school, and suddenly didn't have the grades or the athletic ability to get themselves into a college outside of community college. However, I'm not one of those people. I currently have a 3.4 GPA. I know it's not great, but it's not bad. And I've sent applications to colleges and got accepted by about half of them. However, I don't want to go to college anymore. You see, I learned how to do the family business at a young age, and currently my dad makes 270K a year. That's a lot of dough, eh? That's more than almost every lawyer or doctor! So, since I wasn't an idiot, I learned the business starting out young. And my dad even sweetened the deal on doing it- he's retiring relatively soon, and he's going to get me up to speed quickly, so I'll be making 100K (almost half the money) by the 3rd year. In other words, instead of spending 40K on college for four years, I will ALREADY HAVE about 200K IN THE BANK (cuz i can live with him still) by my THIRD YEAR COMPLETED! How's that for good money? And then within a couple years after that, he's retiring. So when he retires, I will make (give or take) about the full 270K a year he's averaged! It's hard work keeping up with it, mentally and physically... but I don't have to put in more than 8-9 hours a day with the business, so it's not bad. Not bad at ALL. =) It's guys like me and my dad that made me realize college is a waste... by the way
CumulusClaudia 0
Aren't you lucky, 50? And when the time comes for you to impress a girl and get married you won't have to worry about how annoyingly self-righteous you are because she'll only like you for your money!
nuga 0
Agreed with #51, some people care more about getting an education and bettering themselves than just making money... To the OP: How would you get blamed for something your friend said? And how would the department you work for even know that it was your friend anyway?