Today, I was giving a tour on campus when one of my friends approached us and said, "Don't go here, the weed's too expensive." and walked away. Thinking he was coming back to say he's joking, he instead says, "Just kidding, it's really cheap." and walked off. I may or may not still have a job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML
Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I'd gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student here. This happens all the time. FML
Today, my friend came over with brownies as a treat before work. She works in a bakery so I thought it was lovely. After starting work, I became stoned. She thought it was a great prank. I was fired. FML
Today, after my close friend had his baby, he told me that he was no longer going to be selling weed at his house. I was happy for him, because it's unsafe. Until I found out he was still selling at my house with the help of my roommates, without telling me. FML
Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML
Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML
Today, I was getting lunch at a fast food restaurant. My boss was in front of me, and in order to get on his good side I offered to pay. Instead, I got fired because I guess my boss assumed I was making fun of his salary, which I knew nothing about. FML
Today, my coworker paid me back the $15 I let him borrow and we shook hands. Later, I was called into my boss's office, where he threatened to fire me for doing a drug deal in front of customers. The police are getting involved. FML
Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied, "No", he said, "You mean you always look like that?" FML
Today, I went to a going away party for a coworker. I had brought weed for the party and at one point a guy asked me if I have a Grindr. I replied, "No, I don't use those dating apps. I do have a Fetlife but that's it, if you want it." He apparently meant a weed grinder. Most awkward 3 hours ever. FML
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Top comments
SpunkT 0
Yeah why would you be responsible for having an idiot friend? Also you could have just said something to the effect of "Don't mind him, he's an idiot" and pretend he's not your friend. And then later tell him not to bother you when you're working cause it's really rude.
24788 7
I do stupid things like this all the time to my friends. You need to lighten up and relax about it.
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Comments (91)
ieatmusicxD 0
I love people.
intothecrypt 3
When girls do that it comes across as really snobby?
roch36elle 0
I love this
kat_elizabeth_ 0
That's awesome! I would've burst out laughing!
efelsh 14
At least the visitors know the weed is cheap. Definitely a reason to go to that school!
Laura3415 16
Lmfao that's hilarious:')
randombaxer1 11
Don't GO here?...
jennlody 28
oh look.. an FML from back when the standards were extremely low. I'm glad they check grammar now.