By rockstarohyeah - 02/07/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I was given the best news of my life. I am cancer free and am not, at the ripe age of 23 going to bite the dust. My husband left his journal on the nightstand in our bedroom. He wrote, "I feel like a bad person, but if she dies, I don't have to get divorced." FML
I agree, your life sucks 82 890
You deserved it 4 835

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aww im sorry but congrats on the no cancer!!!!

well congratulations on the news!!! :) at least you have your whole life ahead of you to find a new man.

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oh wow =| great husband..

And so you're still cancer free and have time to find someone who wants to be with you. It's all about perspective. Would you feel better if you WEREN'T cancer free and he wanted to leave you?

Yes, but they can judge you, right? I'm 21 and I've been married for 3 years and my marriage is better than most. I wouldn't take it back. People do things differently around the world, but they also do things differently around the country. In the midwest, marriage at 18 might not be the every day, but marriage at 23 is. Yes, we have a high divorce rate, and I know the statistics, probably better than most considering I'm more or less getting a degree in it. Statistically speaking, the odds are against someone if they're younger, but if that someone gets an education and makes decent money, the odds drop drastically. Her bad marriage probably doesn't have much to do with her age and probably has more to do with the fact that she was battling a terminal illness so early on in it, which also statistically speaking is one of the biggest stressors you can put on any marriage, let alone such a new one. They would most likely not have the good times outweighing the bad ones, so it would be hard for him to WANT to stay. Different people want different things and if 50% (varying by state) of first marriages end in divorce, then 50% don't. SOME young marriages work, so stop assuming you know everything.

i never said that some DON'T work. it's a common fact of life that SOME things work and SOME things don't. thanks for pointing out the obvious. just because your marriage is so fucking great doesn't mean it's going to work out. all i was pointing out was that age doesn't matter in the long run, it seems you missed my point though. and maybe YOU should stop saying shit like you know everything, seeing that you're talking about how you're getting a degree and typing all these statistics that i don't really give two shits about.

but they can judge you right? was in reference to the fact that if your comment supports young marriage they judge you, but if you judge them, you're the bad guy. my response was agreeing with yours entirely saying that her marriage probably didn't fail due to age and that mine is good despite age. if you'd READ those stupid statistics, you would've seen that they supported what you said in that age doesn't really matter. i was telling OTHER people to stop acting like they know everything when they say no one should get married young because sometimes it DOES work. most of that wasn't directed at you, only supporting what you said. sorry if it came off wrong as an attack on you.

oh haha, yeah i read it but when you said stop acting like i know everything i thought you were directing at me because it was a response to mine. i was slightly confused as to why you were saying that though since you were like agreeing with me

damn right, there's nothing wrong with marrying young. it's not for everyone, but only each individual knows who and what is right for them. i got married at 20, my husband was 22. it's been 4 years so far and we're very happy. some people are more mature at 20 than others are at 30 and older.

yeah, sorry. i agreed and was directing anything negative elsewhere.

#111 is right. But nonetheless, it still is kinda fucked up.

He isn't that bad. It's a dying relationship. When you had cancer, he would have stuck through for you, at the cost of his own life. Now you're both free to move on and you don't have cancer any more. You are one of the luckiest people in the world. This is not an FML.

Er, no #152. He was HOPING she would die so that he wouldn't have to go through divorce proceedings. That's pretty fucking bad.

aww hun don't you worry about it, I know many people who have/had kids with cancer, and almost all of them are divorced. Cancer is very trying on a relationship, many people can't deal with the stress and end up leaving. It's hard, i know, but you are young and healthy, time to move on to bigger and better things!

he's a fag for wanting you dead and a fag fo having a journal

so OP didnt know she was married to a total F'ing tool?? Come in he's a grownass man with a diary, thats a dead give away!!

Just- wow. I hope you soon find a man who loves you. 23 is too young to be married to someone who doesn't love you!!!!

23 is too young to be married period. Now that I think about it, why would anyone get married ever?

Yeah, since 23 and married isn't right for you, of course that standard fits the rest of the world too. I'm glad I have you to set the mold and rules for how I live MY life. Thank you.

Totally agree. Age doesn't determine if a marriage will fail or not. Older couples get divorced too, and their age doesn't have anything to do with it. The issues are the same regardless of age.

You fail reading comprehension #113. The objection wasn't to marriage at 23, but loveless marriage at 23. Regardless, most people aren't mature enough to be married at 23 so get over it.

that response was to "23 is too young to be married period." and yes, MOST people aren't but some are.

My husband and I met when I was 17...we got engaged when I was 20 and married when I was 23. That was a year ago. Are you really going to try to tell me that after 6 years it was still too early for us to get married?! The average age for women is still 22 and for men 25. That's pretty high by human standards. 23 is not too young to be married. But...I know some people who might have waited if their spouse didn't have terminal cancer. If you love someone...and think you're going to die quite soon...it makes sense to get married even if maybe you're too young or not sure or just not ready. I don't want to make assumptions, but I think the OP got married to him because they both thought she was going to die. He stuck by her, but knew that it was not going to work out if she went into remission. In a private moment he shared a feeling that many people might feel in that situation...if she were to die it would spare them the pain of divorce. It's not like he wished that she would die. If you have never been in this situation then don't try to tell me you wouldn't feel the same way as him. Most people never want to have to hurt the feelings of someone they care about (I'm sure he cares about her). Yes it's selfish...that's why we have journals...for our weak moments.

agreed. both sets of my grandparents got married at 18, and have been married for 50+ years, same with my parents who just celebrated 29 years. putting out a generalization that anyone married at 23 is stupid is pretty ignorant if you ask me.

aww im sorry but congrats on the no cancer!!!!

EXACTLY! You've got a new lease on life, I say, START COMPLETELY OVER.lol

I think the FML should just be "My husband keeps a journal." Not manly? Undeserving of such a feminine woman like you in my opinion!

Ya if ur husband is gonna divorce you to shit with it ur 23 and healthy so go out and have fun congrats with no cancer:-)

That's horrible, but at least ur not going to die!

Why do you say she will not die? You think she is immortal? Everyone born will die.

One is kind of YDI for reading his diary. Seriously, one half I feel bad, but the other half, not so much. Just because in a bad moment he wrote down his personal feelings in a diary - doesn't mean he's ALWAYS like that, that was his personal feelings at that particular minute he was writing. Just sayin... But yeah, FYL.

bet all the people who are saying shit for reading the journal are men.

who the fuck even keeps a journal? what is he a twelve year old girl? you dont need a diary keeping douchebag :)

Are you stupid? Why am I asking? He wanted his wife to DIE. Think. OP...I think I wanna cry a little. And who the fuck would give this a YDI?

#47 Are you saying that only men think privacy is important ? So all woman would agree that you should invade the privacy of your spouse ? Sorry but that really speaks ill of woman.

Snooping is bad. Whether you get to feel angry depends on what you find out by snooping is worse than snooping itself. And this is much, much worse. If your husband is going to write things like that, he should make damn sure he leaves it somewhere you never see it. Sure, you shouldn't read it, but I doubt any of the people up on their high horses have never been tempted to sneak a peek when they found something like that. And congratulations on the good news, I hope you have many happy, healthy years ahead of you. x

Even if she did snoop around a bit, her husband was thinking about a divorce. But if she dies, he doesnt have to. Thats really effed up. Im happy for op that she's no cancer free but im sad for her because she married a douchebag.

Ouch........... Seriously... I feel the pain all the way over here...

well congratulations on the news!!! :) at least you have your whole life ahead of you to find a new man.

congrats on the news, just move on, and be happy your alive.

Wow I'm sorry. He doesn't deserve you.........congrats on beating the cancer though :-)

When shitty things happen to other people, in other fmls, we don't say "FYL if you're a good person. YDI if you're not!" being a good person is not a pre-requisite for having a fucked life.