Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
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Top comments
yeezheng 6
I bet your braces must have hurt your girlfriend. I feel sorry for her instead of you OP. A large chunk of pubes rip out is no joke.
maddy23a 5
Nice one ace
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Comments (416)
shinklelogan11 0
Holy Shit! Maybe she thought you liked Fur Burgers! Haha jk man
jheins8807 1
Lol!!!!!!
MEGATRON1093 4
Ewwww
qwerty123455 3
That's nasty but how r u gonna explain that ur dentist. That must have hurt her.
nola102 0
D-u-m-b p-u-b-e-h-e-a-d
spaboolly 26
"It's 2011 and a girl doesn't shave?!?!?!" "Make her shave!!!" "OMG Pubes are gross!!!" Apparently it's 2011 and people are still misogynists as well. What the hell makes you people think that you have the right to tell someone else what to do with their body? If a woman tried to tell a man to shave his chest hair or armpits or take male enhancement, I'd imagine that would be considered highly insulting and condescending. But abusively perpetuating a body modification popularized by pornography? Nope, perfectly acceptable. And then to justify it by saying it's "basic hygiene" or someone is "disgusting" if they don't conform to your standards of appearance is absolutely sickening. It's hair. You know why you have hair there? To trap bacteria and help prevent infections. You know why you have hair on your head? To minimize loss of heat and help maintain body temperature. You know why you have hair on your arms? It was inherited from our much more hirsute ancestors who used full body hair for warding off danger. Humans are mammals. They have hair on their genitals, stomach, chest, face, arms, legs, and back. If that offends you, take it up with nature. No, I'm not a feminist. Yes, I do shave some parts of my body. And if you want to shave your pubic hair, that's your choice. But it's also your choice not to, and you shouldn't have to be outcast, ridiculed, or dehumanized for it. I'm simply pointing out the incredible amount of immaturity in many of these comments.
Alex_Lima 2
Looks like someones on her period..... hope her bush doesn't get soaked.
Hunterx700 17
tldr
5t3ff1k4h 47
343 - Thank you. Someone with a brain in the head, finally.
ChaosEngine 5
So what you're saying then is that if a guy has a beard and he gets food caught in it all the time, you're not permitted to be grossed out by whats stuck in his soup strainer? Because that's the exact same problem guys have with unshaved bush. A woman bleeds once a month, sweats, pisses and does all sorts of things down there which could or could not be getting covered in it. And no matter how much you try to clean, and area with hair in it is trickier to get clean than one shaved flat, as the hair follicles trap substances at the base of each hair. 'Take it up with nature' you say. Well nature also made us smart enough to learn about the concept of shaving, to make razors, and to learn about the concept of keeping oneself clean. Ergo, we're meant to expand and grow. Your attitude sounds like someone who believes that if man were meant to fly, we would have been given wings. And yet hey, planes exist. And before you call me sexist or whatever, yes, I am a guy. And hey, guess what? I shave down there too. I'm sure every girlfriend I've had whose gone down on me was grateful for not getting a face/mouthful of hair while she did it. Grow up; it's a basic standard of hygiene that everyone should participate in.
HunterAlpha1 8
i dare you to shave your buttcrack, #354
jorfaw29 0
Your girl doesnt shave down there? I make sure mine does on a regular basis. Face it... As you well know now, body hair isn't the sexiest thing in the world. I'm sure it's not the best tasting either. You deserved it for goin down on hairy nastyness.
5t3ff1k4h 47
What the actual ****? You "make sure" your girl shaves on a regular basis"? WOW. I wish her luck... who does that? It's 2011, and I assume you're from an English speaking country which means it's probably a FREE country. Have you ever heard of that thing called freedom to choose? Sure, some body hair isn't sexy. Other body hair is. But I'm sure if she "made sure" you shaved your ass crack or your armpits you'd be out of there in a flash.
Maritza345 0
Ew always the braces huh
laurietorie 0
Oh my... Maybe next time... Practice makes perfect? Feel bad for her though /: that must have hurt like a bitch
rda08 0
shave that s*** geez