Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend offered a blow job, but my hair got stuck in her braces so instead we tried to pull them all out. And no, I didn't get any. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to pull down my panties with his teeth but it proved more difficult than he thought, so he got a real good mouthful and gave it a really hard pull. They did come down, but he also pulled out what felt like half my pubes. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, I tried to be sexy by pulling down my girlfriend's panties with my teeth. I didn't expect to be faced with the mother of all shit stains and start gagging so bad I nearly puked. FML
Today, my dentist pulled a pubic hair out of my braces. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents and everything was going perfectly. He and I even had some time alone upstairs, where I gave him a blowjob. After dinner, his mom helpfully pointed out something stuck in my braces and inspected it for me. It was a pube. FML
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML
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Top comments
yeezheng 6
I bet your braces must have hurt your girlfriend. I feel sorry for her instead of you OP. A large chunk of pubes rip out is no joke.
maddy23a 5
Nice one ace
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Comments (416)
almostalbino 10
If she were a swimmer, you would never have to deal with that...
nikolkaw 9
I think the bracket would've cut her anyways :) but that's pretty gross...
blackbelt_champ 0
What a hairy situation to be in
valerie7188 10
That's nasty tell her to wax or shave who the hell even has pubes anymore
valerie7188 10
That's nasty tell her to wax or shave who the hell even has pubes anymore
xBlackxOutx 1
Tell her to shave and that wont happen
xxautumnnx1 0
YDI if your going down on someone and your still young enough to wear braces
tc34 1
That's disgusting .tell her to shave
mrosew442 10
if you still have braces I think you're to young to be getting intimate
AnthonyN 5
That's what sucks about No Shave November :