Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML
Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML
Today, before class I was trying to prove I can twist myself like the people on the front of my anatomy textbook, I got onto a table and twisted my ankles behind my head. Everyone seemed impressed until I farted so loudly that it echoed in the hallway. I couldn't get my legs unstuck. FML
Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML
Today, it was the first day of school, and I split my pants. In a full class. While on a stage. I'm the teacher, and I wasn't wearing underwear. FML
Today, during gym class, my teacher insisted that everyone should relieve some stress by throwing a basketball at the wall. I wound up and hurled the thing at the wall, it bounced back and hit me in the stomach. I began to vomit uncontrollably. Even my teacher laughed. FML
Today, I was messing around in computer class when somebody called my name from the hall. Trying to be smooth, I tried rolling my chair backwards out into the hall. The wheels wasted no time jamming and sending me crashing face-first into the floor in front of everyone. FML
Today, I was playing ball with my student during recess. My first attempt at throwing the ball hit him in the head. My second attempt hit him in the crotch. FML
Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML
Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML
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Top comments
Not_ROFL 11
You sat on your own testicles?
Scubanaut 13
I'm missing the adventure in this situation?
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Comments (77)
tbro47 23
And I'm free, free balling.
BoltTheSuperdog 22
I'm a male and I didn't know it was possible to sit on your own balls. But then again, what do I know? I'm just a dog.
_G0D_ 9
You could sit on your dog penis.
phatdaddy62 23
Dogs lick their balls!
whodat32 4
Ballin !
CaptainSmith28 19
I laughed out loud at this FML. I would usually just shorten it to 'lol,' but those are mostly lies. I wanted you to know it was an audible laugh.
fucMyLifeSoHard 18
So did I. I'm hunting right now and I busted out laughing.
Yummiez 14
I'm sorry, this is hilarious
martin8337 36
Anybody remember that old AC/DC song Big Balls?
schadenfreud 6
like an incapacitatingly painful moon hopper
vlalam 24
Way to go bro :P
rocker_chick23 27
Ouch. I hope you and your balls are ok now
howdoilogin 9
One time I sat on my own testicles. I don't even know how it happened, I must have been making a very specific movement as I went to sat down, because I was in fact wearing underwear at the time. It hurt. It REALLY hurt.