Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was so tired at work that I stared at the microwave waiting for my food. It was a full minute before I realized I'd never actually turned it on after I'd put the food in it. FML
Today, my always over-emotional husband burst into sobs when I thanked him for making me lunch. Apparently, I did not compliment his cooking enough. He microwaved me a Hot Pocket; it was still frozen in the middle. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
Today, when I finished helping a customer, she said, “Thanks cutie!” When I thanked her she giggled and said, “I just like making people smile, plus I bet you don’t get called that often!” FML
Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML
Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML
Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As I was leaving, the receptionist told me to "have a nice day" and I replied, "You too, love you!" then I went back home and roasted in the embarrassment for an hour or two. FML
Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
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Top comments
Doortje 29
My microwave doesn't even say that :( Be happy you have a little buddy OP.
banana_buddy 6
smart microwave =)
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Comments (81)
banana_buddy 6
smart microwave =)
iSitt 0
'open the microwave door, HAL.' 'I'm sorry, fatty. I can't do that.'
marriiee_fml 0
mine just says 'OPEN'. ....
Frenchtony 17
Mine doesn't say shit it just rings.
babyyappld 7
mine says "enjoy your meal" too :)
rallets 22
same here #26, i need to get me one of these microwaves o_O
Rawr1918 4
Mine just says "End" :/ Lame
rockyraccoon28 8
uhhhhmmm. mine says "beep beep beep". I guess they've come out with some pretty snazzy microwaves.
randomaccess745 0
rawr: your microwave is terrifying. it predicts the end of everything we know of every time you eat your hungry man.
wisericky 12
my microwave tells me to go die in a hole :'(
hannah1203 2
Dude, I want this microwave.
The_Moustache 6
Mine just goes "Screw you!" until I open the door. I also installed voice.
technochik3 12
lmao
atomicJ 0
Ask the microwave a question!
Doortje 29
My microwave doesn't even say that :( Be happy you have a little buddy OP.
cowboyy_fml 0
umm... wow....let's not have a big fat "feeling sorry for ourself" party..
rororigo52 0
Haha...sucks to be you...but still...i hope u have better days...:)...first
supertacowaffle 41
fourt*
limeyemilyy 0
Fourth* and who cares??
computergeek008 6
that's an awesome microwave! I want one of those!
atomicJ 0
you mean compliment? dyke
_streets_ 19
Why are you complaining op!? I wish my microwave did that!!
chippa 24
This would be more or an FML if that was the nicest thing said to you all week or all month. :/
technochik3 12
more OR an Fml?
CakeSlicer 0
I love microwaves :3
vodkaliciouz 4
nice. did you say 'thank you'? haha.