Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML
Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML
Today, I felt like surprising my coworkers by bringing donuts. Feeling generous, I got a dozen from the most reputable bakery in town. On my way to the office, I tripped, and the box flew open, scattering donuts everywhere. A group of pigeons swooped in and devoured them before I could recover. I spent $30 on pigeon breakfast. FML
Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML
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Top comments
papertigers_fml 0
a truck? on the street? what are the chances?! it's not your fault, you couldn't possibly have known.
ijaywalk 0
Best FML ever. Now hunt down the survivors! YDI for awesomeness, coz your life totally doesn't suck.
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Comments (363)
WhiteTiger91 0
I raise pigeons...they are more than just birds. they really care for their young and will protect and feed them at all costs
NamelessNeko 13
Monster Kill?
NightVVulf 0
whats one less flying rat? or in this case a few less ^^ The look on your face had to have been priceless.
telo_fml 0
stupidpoorpe animals help society if it wasnt for sogs back in the stone age men would have not been able to hunt animals have been on this earth longer then we have so i believe they deserve way more respect
Jotham 0
Isn't this what you wanted? The pigeons to stop disturbing you?
Ykk_fml 2
well, you get rid of them; pretty good job : only one fry and it's still there for the other ones!
LilaBear 2
I actually think that's pretty fantastic, haha.
Peanutdude 0
So what damn people make such big deals of animals dying. Shit happens people die too. And 165 animals kill each other for stupid reasons also but because we are more complex we find different ways to kill each other. 172 FTW!!
AtoZandBeyond 0
You are a pro bird assassin. My philosophy is "Why take out 2 birds with one stone when you can take a whole flock out with a grenade" but damn you did it with a fry. I am changing my philosophy.
Cheyenne_Is_Me 4
lol ur comment made me laugh!!!!!
OMGitsKaleyxo 0
hahh omg thats really funny. and gross. but funny[: