Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I took my girlfriend to a very nice restaurant. I thought it would be a good place to pop the question. I gave the ring to the waiter and asked him to put it on her dessert plate. When she saw it, she picked it up, put it down, and said "No". Then she started to eat her dessert. FML
Today, while I was working at McDonald's, a man and his wife ordered a Sundae. I gave the guy his sundae and realized I'd forgotten something. I said, "One second sir. Let me grab your nuts." I realized what I said when his wife gave me the death glare. FML
Today, I asked the restaurant manager if he could arrange to deliver an engagement ring to me and my girlfriend with our desserts. Desserts came, no ring. That guy wasn’t the manager, just a guy in a suit who legged it with my ring. FML
Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, I got slapped in the face by my girlfriend with a banana skin, because I finished up the chocolate cake. FML
Today, I bought a large ice cream cake. No, there's no occasion, but I did ask the cashier to write "Happy Birthday" on it, just so she wouldn't know I was going to eat it all myself. FML
Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML
Today, I was eager to learn how to use chopsticks, as I was in a nice Chinese restaurant and had ordered noodles. As I was visibly struggling to eat, the server brought me a fork. When I reached for it, I flicked a noodle into a lady's soup at the next table. FML
Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
podrummer9209 0
Wow, I can't believe how cocky they are! That's pretty epic of them to be that ballsy. I can't believe you didn't go off half-cocked! How far did you manage to get it? I'm utterly dick at making these kinds of jokes. Were there at least nuts on it? I've got tons more, I could probably go on for a while, but I think I'll stop. =]
Eir_fml 1
Ask for a spoon anyway, if it's a big deal. Otherwise, just be amused. People take things too seriously sometimes.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (92)
girlwhoactshigh 0
XD naughty naughty~ Was there whip cream on the banana~? XD I could go on for hours~ Lets see... what elese could I point out? Did you have rooster before? need I say more?
Atara223 0
I laughed for almost an hour.
InsanePPG 25
EPIC WIN.
derschadenfreude 5
Yummy.
amberita28 0
if I was served a sundae penis at dinner with my husband I'd probably pee my fn pants!! that's hilarious!!
toshiro10div 0
ydi for not asking what it was before you bought it, and how is this an fml? you could have just asked for a spoon. stop making a big deal out of little shit and learn to laugh a little ******* bit
Littlebrraatt 14
U need to learn to laugh she probibly doesnt actually think her.life is fukked.
ss_super_sad 0
the sadder thing is that you were alone, people probably thought you were desperate.
rinzlerkitty94 31
*The, douchebag.
MrAnonGuy 0
lol, heres how u solve it, rearrange the dessert into something that doesnt look like a dick, and use something like a credit card for a spoon x)
JewelVictoria 0
classic!!
melonsmasherrr 0
ask for one?