Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a restaurant with my fiancée for dinner. I commented that she had some food around her mouth. She responded with a lecture, then by throwing her hot bowl of noodles at me, before stomping out the restaurant. FML
Today, I was eating lunch on my first date with a really pretty girl, when my ex shows up at the same restaurant and starts telling her how bad of a boyfriend I was. My date left. FML
Today, while at dinner with my current boyfriend, my ex walked in with his new girlfriend. The waiter put them at the table next to ours, and the two of them had a front row seat to me spilling an entire guacamole salad on my lap out of nervousness. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML
Today, I went out to lunch with my girlfriend. I asked if she was going to finish her meal, hoping to steal a bite or two. She somehow took this as me calling her fat, threw her drink at me, and stormed off. I just wanted some steak. FML
Today, in the middle of our one year anniversary dinner, my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend showed up declaring her love for him. They left together and I had to take the bus home. FML
Today, I had a meeting in the town where my ex-girlfriend works. After the meeting, I bought some ice cream and sat on a bench in a public place. She came across with her girlfriends laughing and obviously having fun. She only looked in my direction briefly. I threw the ice cream into the trash. FML
Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML
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Top comments
Pleonasm 36
Uh-oh, spaghetti-o!
CaptNomNom 17
I read it as 2 hours. Screw my dyslexic...
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Comments (111)
AnxietySlave 9
You deserved it for not following break-up standards.. Who's not still mad at their ex after two years. Djeez...
TaffyMichele 9
And what exactly are your breakup standards?
HumanWiki 8
I'd file charges against her.
lvaldezr 4
I thought you went to a fancy dinner? Spaghetti doesn't seem fancy.
Gman1234gman 7
what the **** did you do to her?!
Posthuman 26
(2 years prior) OP: "Hey isn't that your ex?" OP's Ex: "Oh yeah it is! I'll be right back." *walks over and dumps spaghetti on the guy* OP: "Eh this might not work out..."
Posthuman 26
I would have knocked her out, replaced her hair with spaghetti an her eyes with meatballs, but that just me. OP, you might want to lock your doors when you get home, and bar your windows. She sounds crazy
j_cat187 20
Well it could have been worse. She could have done the same thing to your girl as well.
yentlben 2
You sure dodged the bullet with your ex. She sounds unstable!
droln4maltesers 8
Even *if* he did cheat on her that's still no excuse... The best revenge is to find someone better which is what I did. From what I can see though she's immature and a b**** which are major reasons to break it off!
Tamz13 2
Ahh psychos. Can't live with them, can't escape them. (Unless you can get a restraining order) I have found one fun way to mess with them is give them the exact opposite of what they're trying for, which is usually to make you angry & pick a fight. My bf's ex cussed me out, threatened to kick my ass & all sorts of crazy stuff when I answered his phone once ( he asked me to, he was changing the oil) so instead of doing what she wanted & arguing, I hung up & then sent her a text apologizing for having to answer his phone, then said I was sad I had upset her so much but would appreciate it in the future if she would please not use such unchristian language with me if I had to answer the phone for him again. She was so confused we didn't hear from her for almost 3 months. Til then she had been an almost daily stalker. I don't even go to church, & can cuss like a sailor, but I keep my goodie goodie Christian routine brushed up just for her. Never fails to screw with her mind & shut her up for a few months! Lol
foreverboredZ 4
Overly attached GF......