Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML
Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML
Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML
Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML
Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML
Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in a Ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look of them. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML
Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML
Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
lendalynn 5
I just threw up a little.....
perdix 31
. . . and Grandpa's missing, and Grandma seems uncharacteristically cheery.
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Comments (136)
indistructo 3
you eat ur grandma :(
skatingalyy 0
canibalism ftw!!
Ima_monster_x3 12
I think I'm gonna throw up..
LadyOpheliac 5
...Is your grandmother Mrs. Lovett?
perdix 31
Maybe Grandma thinks you're a Fine Young Cannibal.
Uneedanapbro 6
Could have been worse. It could have been an inch long brownie piece in a skin pastry.
birds_fml 7
I really doubt it was an inch long piece of skin, OP. Where the hell would it have come from? I bet you anything it was some sort of paper... like parchment paper. People use that to cook with you know. Or coulda been a piece of the lining of the flour bag that fell in and she didn't notice.
compasseagle89 8
it's nice to see that some people know what parchment paper is used for. that stuff is incredible!
GraveRobber14 13
I bet it was egg she didn't mix in enough.
TakeMyLifePlease 7
Five bucks says it was a butter wrapper. If she's an awesome Grandma, those brownies were from scratch, which takes a lot of butter.
HannahLouise96 13
*Gag*
DWilliamson 7
Hmmm. I cant help but look at my bagel with extreme reluctancy now. Thx OP :)
Waffl3z 8
may i get a piece of that #47?
subwild 0
Ewww
newjerseyguy 0
That's friggin foul