Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, while eating dinner, my child picked up a piece of their chicken off the floor and put it in their mouth. It wasn’t until during bath time did I realize it wasn't chicken but poop that fell out of their diaper. FML
Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML
Today, my kids and I went to have dinner with a coworker. After everyone ate, the kids went to play while I helped clear the dishes. To my horror, instead of individually wrapping the kids leftovers, she scraped all the uneaten food back into the main pots. I wanted to puke on the spot. FML
Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML
Today, my 45-year-old child of a mother made such a dramatic scene over finding a hair in her food that the initially apologetic owners ended up kicking my family out. FML
Today, as a pizza delivery driver, I delivered to a customer with young kids. She gave the pizzas to one of her kids to take inside, where the kid dropped them and it went everywhere. She then rang the store and claimed that I'd dropped the pizzas, then told her to "suck it up." FML
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Top comments
Druu 53
Is anyone else more grossed out by the fact that it was pulled out of the garbage disposal? Hair. Okay, not the ideal pizza topping, but at least it was baked. Slime and grime from the the garbage disposal? *BARF*
blackfire29 7
I say this is possibly both "your life sucks" and "you deserve it." Your life sucks because your daughter found a hair in her pizza. You deserve it IF you ate the rest of the pizza and still expected a refund.
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Comments (19)
Ashamed_Sister 60
I have just lost my appetite.
Josh Jaron Avid 5
I know right? so gross
Cali 54
I deleted your extra comments, Josh Jaron Avid. Welcome to FML!
blackfire29 7
I say this is possibly both "your life sucks" and "you deserve it." Your life sucks because your daughter found a hair in her pizza. You deserve it IF you ate the rest of the pizza and still expected a refund.
mariri9206 32
No one said she was still going to take it back for a refund. The real reason it's both is because it sucks there was a hair is their pizza and it's a YDI because how could you forget what that piece was for?
Lalala579121 27
"but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund" Isn't reading fun?
Druu 53
Is anyone else more grossed out by the fact that it was pulled out of the garbage disposal? Hair. Okay, not the ideal pizza topping, but at least it was baked. Slime and grime from the the garbage disposal? *BARF*
Manual_Manoosy 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Cool story, bro
Dtcnationz 6
Sounds like you got yourself in a hairy situation. Fyl, OP. (You need to pay attention to the crust you're eating especially if it had hair)
zmpzmpzmp 3
Lol
Rebecca Stockert 16
how in the **** does that even happen.. why would you even eat anymore pizza to begin with... darwin award...
moonlight77 28
I was reading this as I was just eating pizza for dinner. I don't think I want the rest anymore. Thanks, Op.
Regulate 21
You have had worse.
neallo 5
Parents: part-time philosophers, on-the-spot garbage disposal.