Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML
Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML
Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML
Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML
Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML
Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in a Ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look of them. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML
Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML
Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
lendalynn 5
I just threw up a little.....
perdix 31
. . . and Grandpa's missing, and Grandma seems uncharacteristically cheery.
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Comments (136)
megapeyt 17
Nasty dude. Nasty
DocBastard 40
I would have your grandmother check herself for missing fingers, toes, ears, eyelids, etc. You never know how the knife can slip as she's cutting the brownies. Oh, and that wasn't strawberry sauce on top.
Sweej 1
If the OP said there was strawberry sauce on top, then I would find your attempt at a joke moderately funny. But OP didn't say that, so you just failed.
gmc_blossom 21
Sweej, you just failed by trying to out comment DocBastard. Who does that, really? Idiot.
Sweej 1
Blossom - I just did. And absolutely wrecked him in the process. That's right, I'll be calling the shots from now on, fool.
TheTwistedOtaku 16
That made my skin crawl. Ew
perdix 31
. . . and Grandpa's missing, and Grandma seems uncharacteristically cheery.
stephanyk2 7
That's so gross.
Enigmax2514 7
Hold your horses, stop the time, wait 1 cotton-picking minute! Don't take another bite! Excavate the rest of those brownies, I'm sure there are some fossils in there somewhere!
zombicidal 11
nothing wrong with a little people jerky just ask Dr. Lector
Wheredidgrungego 12
Remind anyone of Austin Powers Goldmember?
Emmy_The_Great 2
If you think about it, you probably eat animal skin a lot...But that's still disgusting.
WCARlover 35
That's just her secret ingredient...eat up!
zombicidal 11
We Came As Romans is awesome (I assume that's what you mean by WCAR