Today, I was eating a brownie my grandmother had made, only to discover an inch long piece of what resembled dead skin in the middle of it. This discovery was only made after taking a bite and wondering why the consistency was wrong. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, I learned the horrifying implications of my memory not being what it used to be when I bought a tasty-looking chocolate bar, only to realize upon taking a bite that I'd bought one before and not liked it one bit. FML
Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML
Today, I was celebrating my birthday when my friend gave me chocolate as a gift. I wasn't suspecting anything and ate about half of it before I noticed something strange. It turned out there were some kind of worms living in it and the chocolate was about a year after the expiration date. I got sick. FML
Today, I ate what was supposed to be a delicious mini powdered donut. The first one tasted funny, so I pulled out another one and realized that the powdered sugar was now in fact powdered hairy mold. Then I looked at the package and realized it was over a year and a half old. FML
Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML
Today, I visited my grandma. She offered me some chips in a Ziploc bag. I thought they were sour cream and onion chips from the look of them. They tasted funny, but I didn't want to be rude and I kept eating. I looked closer after a while and noticed that what I thought were chives was actually mold. FML
Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML
Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
lendalynn 5
I just threw up a little.....
perdix 31
. . . and Grandpa's missing, and Grandma seems uncharacteristically cheery.
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Comments (136)
daydreamer244 13
it was just a flavor patch! duhh.
Boomerang121 1
Your grandma'd probably notice if an inch-long piece of skin peeled off of her somewhere...I doubt it was dead skin. Sometimes when you don't stir the brownie mix well enough, bits of egg can cook in clumps. You probably just got a piece of unstirred eggwhite.
fogrunner 13
In that case, we still need to consider that eggs are chicken periods.
abstractsnipe 0
You liked it.
gertym 0
This is why I don't eat other people's baked goods...
kbiskup 4
She is definitely too saggy, therefore she deserves to be in an old person home. :)
MrRuffyboots 0
Kids, this is why you never sneak into an old persons house. They will put you in a cage, and when they believe you're ripe, they'll cook you into their brownies and cakes.
passthepoke 1
Uh... Grandma?????? What is this????
cjgqsmooth 0
so instead of weed they put dead skin in brownies as a new high? lhh
modernbenoni 8
Dw it's probably just wrapping off something
natroniks 0
Biting into food to find something that's not food is the WORST THING EVER!