Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was helping my kid with homework after work. I tried to Google “third grade long division explained simply.” Autocomplete filled in “because I don’t understand it either,” which I read out loud without thinking. My kid stared at me and said, “So… who’s teaching who?” FML
Today, one of my students corrected the problem I had solved on the board, explaining that you do multiplication before subtraction. I teach the second grade. FML
Today, I was trying to finish an English assignment and I was not sure how to complete it, so I emailed my teacher to ask her for help. She told me to… flip over the assignment handout page for instructions. FML
Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML
Today, after I lectured my family at Christmas dinner about how schools are indoctrination centers, I'm now helping my kid with homework every night and realizing I don’t understand half of it. FML
Today, I learned, 90 horrifying minutes into a college exam, that my 85-year-old calculus teacher had spent the last three weeks teaching us the wrong chapter. FML
Today, I was teaching a class when a student pointed out that I'd used the wrong "your/you're" while writing on the board. FML
Today, I was writing my rough draft of an essay, and I forgot how to spell a word. I waited for auto correct to help. I was writing on paper. FML
Today, I was called to solve a problem question at the start of a lecture. I stupidly went up to the board before telling the lecturer in front of 300+ students that I had no Idea what he had been doing the whole week. The lecturer made a sneery comment about why some of us are blockheads. FML
Today, we were taking a bio quiz and I understood the subject, so the people sitting behind me asked me to help them out. Being a kind fellow classmate, I did. When the teacher got suspicious, she asked the class, "How are all of you getting the same answers?" everyone pointed directly at me. FML
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Top comments
TehGinga94 21
Nobody above middle school can remember. You're not alone.
SApprentice 34
It's hard to remember information when you have had no reason to review it for years. Don't feel bad, OP. It happens to all of us.
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Comments (100)
TehGinga94 21
Nobody above middle school can remember. You're not alone.
Cashtangoteam 10
Nobody needs that fancy book learnin' anyways.
OriginalimoaN 15
It's really the most useless (and icky) of those 4 types of problems.
sarah6786 14
That's because halfway through our 12 year sentence we started using calculators for everything.
rvnclwprfct731 13
Try writing in cursive. It'll blow you're mind.
imavelociraptor 6
I know how to do long division and write and cursive.... A lot of people in my grade can't write or read cursive though. It's pretty sad actually.
sens3sfailing 25
im an engineering student taking calculus classes and differential equations. lets see if i can help. long division? ummmm. don't you do something where you...*draws a picture of a giraffe* there you go.
cognauticcreix 9
Division's either easy enough you don't need long division or painstaking enough that you should go for the calculator...really I'm just rationalizing me forgetting it too though. #suckstosuck :(
someguy314159265 15
I'm a student in my first year at the University of Imnottellingyouwhere, and I certainly remember. It is also used in calculus, but on polynomials instead of simple numbers. It's not hard at all, anyway.
Pandamonia88 9
I'm an engineer and I count on my fingers, I'm not even sure what long division is. I think I can still do multi-dimensional calculus though.
aeore 16
Well, you forget things all the time, it's natural.
shellz102 12
Perfect reason as to why most of the stuff we learn in school will never be used again.
RedPillSucks 33
Until your calculator batteries die during a test and your teacher wont let you move closer to an electrical outlet. *true story bro*
smartman136 8
Learn2solarpower
Badpesci 10
Brainfarts happen to the best of us, OP
SApprentice 34
It's hard to remember information when you have had no reason to review it for years. Don't feel bad, OP. It happens to all of us.
freshberries22 17
Exactly, I'm a junior in college and I barely remember anything from last semester. The mind is a funny thing and if you don't use it you lose it. Cheer up op when my brother brought home factors I could barely remember how to do them.
Schizomaniac 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If anyone says anything about a cute math tutor I'm going to **** someone up.
sheethapins 13
My old math teacher was super cute. You should have seen him, totally cute.
PenguinBitch 44
Well I guess you're going to have to **** yourself.
iOceanus 18
5: Punch yourself in the face for bringing it up then.
Schizomaniac 24
18: *punches you in the esophagus* 19: uhh..what? 20: You can't tell me what to do. You're not my real mom.
alexandrialala 6
I think maybe you should stop typing.
Schizomaniac 24
You're right. I'm looking pretty stupid in front of all these anonymous people on the Internet. :(
zingline89 18
I'm sure it's just a product of not having done it for a while. You should spend the remainder of your night studying up. Just give it your undivided attention.
Trix_Disorder 20
These puns are better than sum.
zingline89 18
That's not even a fraction of what I'm capable of. Frankly there were too many variables when deciding what puns to use, so I left some on the table for the replies. So take this as a Sine, FML community, to unload your best math puns below.
iOceanus 18
24: As I read your comment, I imagined your puns materializing into projectiles, then speeding towards your enemy as a final move to finish him... It's 3am, don't judge me.
Jorcar 8
Maybe another tangent of thought would be best. Math puns are just too trigy for some people. Not to be negative.
Smeelover27 15
Calculus students are advised to avoid consuming alcohol before doing their homework: Do not drink and derive.
JustAGirlOnFML 11
Math sucks, not your fault.
shellzy 20
Math doesn't suck, people suck.
CaptainSaveAHoe 11
And ****** :D no? ok...I have dishonored you all...*runs self through with katana*
gettintheshaft 3
62: No, all math through high school and a good portion of the math in college is immediately applicable to the real world. You're highly employable if you understand this.
saksxalmo 20
Math can actually be really fun and beautiful (fractals, man), but math class is horrible. I love thinking about calculus, but as soon as I actually enter the classroom I'm ready to take a nap. :(
darth_luke 8
I bet that was the best moment of that little kids life.
robo_thunder 13
I know a math tutor you could hire, but I hear he's not very cute.
darth_luke 8
That one guy is gonna **** someone up now.
missababgaga 19
Join the club... I wasn't able to help my little sister with her long division hw when she asked. I didn't even know how to do it when it was first taught to me in class as a kid! That's why I'm thankful for calculators.
missababgaga 19
Because of conformity I can imagine.