Health: Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate....

By Anonymous - 28/01/2016 16:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition that makes me lactate. I'm a 6' tattooed guy with a boxing competition coming up soon. I'm never going to hear the end of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 383

You deserved it 1 823

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By esk - 18/05/2009 08:48 - China

Today, I got my medical checkup back. Apparently, I'm diagnosed with a liver condition generally found in alcoholics. I've never drank in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 430

You deserved it 3 677

By Anonymous - 30/10/2013 16:43 - United States - Houston

Today, I found out that I'm highly-placed in my wrestling competition this year. I also found out that I have mono and won't be able to take part for at least the first half of the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 453

You deserved it 3 953

By Anonymous - 01/07/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for a sports physical. I've had a giant, dark birthmark on my left rib cage that I've hated most of my life. Recently I've learned to embrace it and show it off by wearing bikinis. My doctor saw it today and told me it's a fungus that's been spreading on my side all my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 403

You deserved it 7 403

By Sally19863 - 30/08/2010 16:18 - South Africa

Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 966

You deserved it 3 068

By Noname - 13/02/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 263

You deserved it 3 676

By Anonymous - 12/02/2017 09:00 - United States - Fall City

Today, two days before a big weight lifting competition with a $3,000 grand prize, I broke my arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 547

You deserved it 691

Real funny

By Lamediseased - 29/09/2016 15:07 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I got diagnosed with Lyme disease. My whole family thought it would be hilarious to call it, "Lame disease." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 550

You deserved it 771

By Anonymous - 26/09/2012 14:23 - Canada

Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 055

You deserved it 37 138

By Anonymous - 06/09/2010 00:29 - United States

Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 507

You deserved it 7 731

Unfit

By naagodinho - 09/01/2012 14:56 - Portugal

Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 910

You deserved it 4 769

Welshite 39

Friday 29 January 2016 1:21

Drink your own breast milk. It's supposedly good for building muscle. Soon you'll be having your opponents begging for your secret.

askullnamedbilly 33

Friday 29 January 2016 1:22

Just tell the haters your body's in such good shape even your nipples are crying at the sight of it!

Comments

Mike_Oxhard 14

Friday 29 January 2016 2:40

What's the name of this disease? Bitchtititis?

Jets4Life89 4

Friday 29 January 2016 2:47

These people a bunch of assholes in the comments, get a giant tattoo of a big breasted chick accross your chest then its her nipples milking!

emilyjgraham 34

Friday 29 January 2016 8:51

Well that was just a really stupid suggestion...

sammiaaron 16

Friday 29 January 2016 3:25

milk milk lemonade

EvilLittleMan 23

Friday 29 January 2016 3:30

Milk it for all it's worth.

flyerpretender 3

Friday 29 January 2016 3:51

Galactorrhea!!!!

snowflake2410 3

Friday 29 January 2016 3:59

People are going to milk this to no end.

murph_fml 21

Friday 29 January 2016 4:34

Doug, once again, lay off the juice.

spnwitch 10

Friday 29 January 2016 5:21

It's not juith, it's a protein shake

OrganicSistah 17

Friday 29 January 2016 4:53

Use a breast pump and pump out the milk before your match.

mercyelvira42 23

Friday 29 January 2016 6:01

The fitness guy who paid his female friend for her breast milk would envy you. (His fml posted in 2011/12 but he finally gave an update this past month)