Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a creepy stalker blog dedicated to some minor celebrity from the '80s that I’ve never heard of. When I asked him about it, he accused me of spying on his private life, even though the blog is there on the internet for anyone to read, and stormed out. FML
Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML
Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML
Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML
Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML
Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML
Today, I found the password to my boyfriend's MSN account. I was listed in the "booty call" category. FML
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Top comments
Epikouros 32
I hope you like gardening!
GeeUnit 8
That's just oddly disturbing..
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Comments (340)
xrainbowshadowx 17
Run far away!
HoboSmeller 6
im going to be the first of trolls that say YDI for browsing through your boyfriends labtop and being snoopy. But in all seriousness, maybe he was writing a book.
DerpyDerper 7
Um sorry but she said she was just browsing the web not snooping...just wanted to point that out.
violetsweety 26
Nooo.. She snooped.
white16sox 19
Ok, I'm going to say this once. When someone says " In all seriousness..." it means you should disregard what they said before and take it as a joke.
Jakesterk96 8
Yea, and if he used OP's name, it's just mere coincidental.
greenwich1945 13
#198 But there's no need to get pissy and start swearing. Just keep calm and explain if someone's taken it the wrong way, and laugh about it later.
TheNewGuy03 29
185 -- She didn't snoop, dawg. |the kid|
Bekll 31
Even if he wasn't talking about you that is creepy enough as is to get far, far away from him.
angelofsaturn 23
wow umm yeah that's pretty damn creepy but at least you know he wants kids.
lolfood 24
Wow, he must be a very weird gardener.
icallbullshit 3
And? Don't ladies want a guy to settle down with and have kids with that white picket fence? You may not have all of the above but you've got a start.
mvems 13
Yes every woman's dream is a man willing to donate his sperm to our cause! And marriage yes marriage...life's mere point and purpose. No.:) If this was vice versa and a girl was blogging about how she wants to accept her boyfriend's meandering sperm into her eager womb, well...you would think she was batshit crazy no?
1crabbygirl 10
Nice stereotyping, Misogynist.
withered 30
The level of ignorance you show is baffling. Check the century we live in. Women are no longer taught that their only purpose is to get married and reproduce. There is actually more to their lives today and not many women want batshit crazy idiot nor do all want to get married.
NeatNit 33
Googling the quote only finds this FML :(
dominic1221 6
Yeah, uh... that's what private blogs are for. To be private, off the radar.
mvems 13
Good thinking though. I think most of us would've enjoyed browsing that blog.
lonkite101 14
Tmi....
lonkite101 14
Meant to be a reply....
lonkite101 14
Meant to be a reply....
lonkite101 14
Damn... Meant for that to be a reply.
gasbandit 2
Sounds like a keeper! ha ha ha
McAninch35 9
*kreeper
b0ngs 7
More like "sounds like a creeper"
olpally 33
What the actual ****? Run away op and don't look back!
challan 19
She can't run very fast with her wide birthing hips. He is sure to catch her!