Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a creepy stalker blog dedicated to some minor celebrity from the '80s that I’ve never heard of. When I asked him about it, he accused me of spying on his private life, even though the blog is there on the internet for anyone to read, and stormed out. FML
Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML
Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML
Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML
Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML
Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML
Today, I found the password to my boyfriend's MSN account. I was listed in the "booty call" category. FML
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Top comments
Epikouros 32
I hope you like gardening!
GeeUnit 8
That's just oddly disturbing..
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Comments (340)
Shadow_Phantom 26
Yeah... that would be grounds for a breakup in my book, but your choice OP.
stepymac 15
Yeah , that kind of creepy!
diva239 8
Run!!!!!!
FML_a_Must 7
Well he IS your boyfriend after all, you shouldve known what you were getting urself into, but hey atleast you know he won't leave you!
GoldenGrizzly 7
Yes, because all the times people's spouses/significant others become their murderers or turn out to be some serial killer is obvious to them, because you know everything about the person you are with.
bulldoghitman97 4
I think you should have sex with him and see what happens. YOLO!
Shelta957 13
Shut up.
rldrship 0
Wow that's just crazy talk right there. Do you someone to talk to hit me up if u want
groupleader 7
Well, so much for the rape, ummm I mean "surprise sex".
GogoTheGreat 12
Get out while you still can!
reddudeover 2
Somehow I think if a girl wanted to have a kid with a guy, people would call him a coward if he wanted to "run away". It's a blog it has to be funny for it's readership! Oh FML ya big sillies.
groupleader 7
You ruined his surprise.