Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my boyfriend has a creepy stalker blog dedicated to some minor celebrity from the '80s that I’ve never heard of. When I asked him about it, he accused me of spying on his private life, even though the blog is there on the internet for anyone to read, and stormed out. FML
Today, after a small fight with my girlfriend, I started to miss her, so I typed her name into Google on a whim. Surprisingly, I find a link to a blog in which the owner describes his ongoing effort to seduce my girl. During times she told me she was alone. Thanks babe. FML
Today, my brother's recent creepy behavior suddenly made sense when I found "How to seduce your sister?" in his browser search history. FML
Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML
Today, it appears that my girlfriend visited an internet web page called "How to confess to having an affair." FML
Today, my boyfriend of 4 years decided to start an online blog about his life. He mentioned his cars, his friends and even his staff. I was never mentioned. FML
Today, I went on a date with a really cute guy. Things were going great, so we went to his place. While he was in the bathroom, I absentmindedly looked around his apartment. Unfortunately, his living room cupboard was half open, and I saw a shrine of pictures of me. Apparently, he's been stalking me for months. FML
Today, I stumbled across my ex's blog. Apparently, while dating me, he realized he was gay. Good to know the one guy I've dated, lost my virginity to, and fell in love with, was never truly attracted to me and was dating me just to be sure. FML
Today, by pure chance, I found the website where my boyfriend has been getting all the cute, "original" romantic texts he sends me, including the one that made me fall in love with him to begin with. FML
Today, I found the password to my boyfriend's MSN account. I was listed in the "booty call" category. FML
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Top comments
Epikouros 32
I hope you like gardening!
GeeUnit 8
That's just oddly disturbing..
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Comments (340)
GaleIsHawt 5
My best advice is.. To slowly back away. JK. confront him about it?
dellis44 7
sneak onto his blog and start writing about about how much of a creeper he really is.
Snafuusmc 12
IT'S A TRAP!
auzz1_pride 9
I am amazed that you always post " it's a trap" in caps, and you never get thumbed down. Please tell me your secret :)
Snafuusmc 12
Rinse,Lather and repeat.
oddities707 5
Maybe you should just have sex with him?
bulldoghitman97 4
I wonder if he considers her as a Hoe In his garden?? lol
btwmellarkc 11
Lol. He sounds like one of my friends.
gctynan 2
Me too lol
wellnevermind 4
This would be funny if 72 and 91 knew each other in real life without knowing it. Adding, that they might be also thinking of each other in the comments. Hahaa. Ok, I'm going back to my cave. Sorry.
Rapide100 6
Get a restraining order...NOW!
Thor12 1
Time to run for the hills and never look back.....or just you know, call the popo for one of those things that keep strange people a certain distance away (forgot what it's called)
wellnevermind 4
It doesn't matter Thor, you're not from this world so you can easily get away with forgotten words.
ImaginaryFoe 1
In most places I know of, she would need proof that she was in danger in order to get an order of protection or restraining order. A boyfriend hoping to overdose her on sperm probably wouldn't qualify.
pajamasam13 0
Run
william8691 10
FALCON PUNCH!!!!
HerrBawl 4
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!