Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML
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Drunk dick
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML
Not a morning person
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML
Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML
Hey how are you?
Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML
Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML
Top comments
Welshite 39
Confiscate his key and keep an eye on yours. That's creepy.
ipman737 18
Have a serious talk with him?
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Comments (121)
ThatSlappinBass 32
That's messed up. Definitely take his key away, and make sure none of your spare keys are missing.
Ubehage 32
It's time for a change: Lock AND boyfriend!
Ben009 13
Get rid of him and charge him with B&E. There are no good intentions here
Neesalun 20
I had a next door neighbor that had a boyfriend. They broke up but I didn't know this. He kept coming over for about six months at lunch time. One day the door wasn't closed all the way and there was a ton of wind that caused slamming. I went over to shut the doors and left a note saying that the bf had left it ajar and it caught the wind. Neighbor came home and had to discuss this with me. Apparently he had been stalking her but she couldn't figure out how he knew her plans.
B1ackthesun 31
Maybe this is really paranoid, but I'd consider a search for hidden cameras for a start. For all you know he's selling footage of you in the shower or worse. Clearly he is gaining something from accessing your home when you're gone. You really need to find out what that is. Could be innocent, but it could be sinister too.
allplayedout 20
This. OP, you have everything to gain from being paranoid and suspicious at this point. Id also make sure any webcams you have connected to your laptops or PCs are covered in case they are hacked.
Tucking_Fypo 9
Overly attached boyfriend?
jcurry25 6
I would be extremely creeps out and curious at the same time
deaper 16
I hope you called the cops and had his ass attested!
Miss_Latina 13
First he stole your key Then he went to your place expecting you not to be there, don't wait to find out what else he plans to do its obvious he doesn't have good intentions.
PainOfDemise 11
Sounds like it's time for a new boyfriend.