Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
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Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML
Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML
Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML
Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 39
Confiscate his key and keep an eye on yours. That's creepy.
ipman737 18
Have a serious talk with him?
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Comments (121)
2ndSucks 15
Didn't you know you're never truly alone?
Marlee141717 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I wouldnt do anything to drastic, just talk with him.
Wizardo 33
Talk and see if there is a sensible explanation say a surprise of some kind he was planning. If not take the key and sternly explain to him the concept of personal boundaries and trust and if all else fails and he gets aggressive or another like, kick him out and consider police for domestic disturbance
meatmaeta 21
If it goes that far, get an order of protection.
icepick23 12
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Awww, it's just an expression of love. He was trying to plan a surprise party, perhaps?
arandomusernameaa 20
An expression of love... what taking a key/ getting one cut without telling them/asking.
Cass_x 22
oh shit. run
Sathane 21
Maybe he likes to smell your laundry to remind himself of you. How sweet!! It could be worse. It could have been your ex boyfriend...
Luluthus 41
That is extremely creepy. You two need to have a long talk, possibly followed by a restraining order.
zoegirl_455 30
Why in the world is he trying to be at your house when you're not there? That's pretty shady
illinoiscentral 16
I SO hope this will have some kind of a follow-up from OP. And how the guy tries to explain this shit.
turdoblast 21
please please pleaaase post a follow up. oh, and, don't take this lightly. he might have the best excuse in the world and make it seem completely non creepy but most psychopaths seem normal until they... skin you...
gracehi 31
So true. I don't think people realize how serious this is. My ex seemed normal at first... Until I realized he was a sociopath.