Today, I was back home from work drinking coffee when I heard someone open the door with a key. It was my boyfriend, who obviously didn't expect to see me home. We don't live together, and I never gave him a key. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my now ex-boyfriend called the cops on me and told them I wasn’t letting him in the house. His keys were in the door, he was just too drunk to unlock it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were wondering whose extra spare key was on the counter when we came home. Turns out it's his ex's and she returned it, while neither of us were home. We're still taking inventory to see what's missing. FML
Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I had just gotten home after being away for 8 months. My key didn’t work on my lock and while I was messing the door a man with a child opened. My landlord gave someone my apartment while I was away. FML
Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML
Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML
Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me over for dinner. When I walked in the door, he asked why I was here; apparently he dialed the wrong girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 39
Confiscate his key and keep an eye on yours. That's creepy.
ipman737 18
Have a serious talk with him?
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Comments (121)
IXChaosDragonXI 13
Throw your coffee at him and when he flees in confusion change the locks! Wild boyfriend tried to flee! Coffee cup super effective!
octobersveryown 1
what if he just wanted a cookie :(
worldclassrager 39
Strange...well since you two are now together things can be figured out..
QueenSaru 28
Yeah... no. Anyone who steals your key to make a copy of it and then breaks into your house while anticipating that you won't be there is not someone you need to talk with. It's someone you need to dump and possibly charge with trespassing/theft.
Rewan_fml 12
don't you mean EX boyfriend?
Sydni_1022 8
Do it back to him?
ruthi666 23
Well that should be a red flag...
LethalSeamonkey 15
PLEASE follow up OP. I don't want to watch this on the ID channel.
Enchantedlove 1
It's time to take your key back from him, and dumb his ass
MackenzAnn 7
I know what you meant to write, it is just that "dumb his ass" made me laugh.
chosha_fml 26
I'm not sure I could get past that massive breach of trust.
Witchylady 17
Stalker? Thief? Hmmm, I would change the locks and maybe change boyfriends as well.