Kids: Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt...

By KPKallery - 05/06/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 809

You deserved it 11 752

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Stealthy

By jessye1182 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Yaphank

Today, I was babysitting, playing hide and seek. I tried to jump behind the armchair, but it tipped, and I hit my head into the wind chimes, ripped the curtain rod from the wall, and smashed my knee into the wall. I lay on the ground in agonizing pain as the little girl shouted, "I know where you are!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 973

You deserved it 6 403

By peestain - 25/10/2010 10:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 686

You deserved it 32 144

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 302

You deserved it 3 562

By Anonymous - 23/03/2013 23:47 - United States

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 205

You deserved it 5 268

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a really bratty little girl. She came and cuddled up on the couch so I took it as an apology. I feel asleep while she was sitting with me and when I woke up she had peed on me. She locked herself in her room and was laughing about peeing on me for discipling her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 754

You deserved it 7 597

By Noname - 09/03/2009 23:36 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 038

You deserved it 6 077

By Anonymous - 16/04/2011 23:42 - United States

Today, I was pretending to be an angry bear while babysitting a 3 year-old boy, and an 19 month-old girl. I was chasing them around the house, having a great time. Just when I bent over to pick up his sister for a diaper change, the 3 year-old decided it was his turn. He bit me square on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 165

You deserved it 11 263

By Anonymous - 02/03/2012 08:30 - Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 633

You deserved it 4 444

Demon child

By Some Guy - 12/10/2015 00:54 - United States - Allen

Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 389

You deserved it 2 776

By ellen77 - 13/09/2013 05:55 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I had to babysit two kids. It all went well until one of them duct taped a knife to a toy machine gun, lit the barbecue on fire, and ran around like a wild banshee screaming obscenities. The other one got scared and climbed onto the roof of the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 046

You deserved it 5 432

FPsLife 5

Friday 5 June 2009 12:16

"It's fine... I'll just kill you later."

kerrygirl 13

Friday 5 June 2009 12:09

sounds fair...

Comments

Icalasari 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 3:16

And this is why spanking should be allowed Honestly, he BEAT YOU WITH AN UMBRELLA!? >.> That kids ass would be so red that it would put a tomato to shame >.>

scateice 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 3:33

hehe

12mp04 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 3:34

YDI, lol but honestly thats funny

jenvious513 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 3:53

I agree...man...FML! but seriously...a child BEAT YOU??? Maybe you used the word to harshly...but either way..I agree with the others..."demon child" lmao

Ub3r_Crippl3 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 3:58

Haha sneaky little bastard.

jazababy 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 4:08

In soviet Russia, kid babysits you!

Leaveittosteven 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 4:11

You can't spell. FYL

SlyCooper601 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 4:19

Haha!!! Baybay kid

Blue33_fml 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 4:20

#127: you shouldnt take this site so seriously. It's meant for funny stories, not everyone here truly beleives their life is completely ****** because some kid beat them with an umbrella or because they spilled something on someone or etc etc. It's just for humor. Ok?? Ok... OP: rofl