By peestain - 25/10/2010 10:06 - United Kingdom

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML
I agree, your life sucks 20 660
You deserved it 32 114

Same thing different taste

Top comments

nibawan 0

I can't see how you could be helpless on the floor. grab the sword and stand up sissy


caseyn31 0

well what you do is sarenwrap the fockers to the bed, then piss on them, and then break their fingers

IphonFML 6

YDI for using gaming terms in real life and for not being able to control 2 kids

bmoney99 0

OP is a BITCH it's a reason they made a belt a branch a shoe a hanger a hammer a tv a door a bed a chair all does thing can be used on children u gotta strike passionate fear into their eyes !

He smashed you with his plastic sword, did he?

I don't understand how you could be helpless against 5 year olds. I'm 5'0" and used to babysit a 7 and an 8 year old, and they would climb all over me. No way they could have held me down like that, and they were almost as big as me. OP probably got knocked down and hit with the sword and exaggerated the rest.

SecureReflex 0

Smack the shit outta the first kid, then when the second tries to run, take him out with a dropkick. Then stand up and say "Roadhouse".

stephanie0613 0

YDI for not controlling two 5 year olds.

110 it would probs be YDI for trying to contol to 5 year olds lol

platypussies 0

call chuck Norris to take care of them

dont feel bad i got beat up by a 2 year old

#19, you do know that fml isn't real life, right?

You must show them that you are the pack leader. Show your dominance and they will submit to you.

ohsuzykuew 0
HamsteronA 0
wwerulez14 6

#55, with those accents, nobody can.

Yeah. I don't see how nationality got put in there. But apparently you aren't either. But as an explanation, the children took advantage of the adult. Two weak five year olds owned the babysitter. That's pretty damn fail.

To become the dominant alpha, don't let them pee on you. Pee on them, then they'll listen.

nibawan 0

I can't see how you could be helpless on the floor. grab the sword and stand up sissy

And what after that? He becomes a mad and very angry alphamale, the kids are afraid, he let them cry from fear, or pain if he beats them, and when the parents come home they will say "Oh, very well sir, you have beated my beloved children. Splendid." No. Just no. A babysitter isn't allowed to beat (naughty) children. I think the parents than are able to sue. I wouldn't take the risk.

#64, Spare me the crap. A babysitter isn't aloud to harm the kid in any way, but they are aloud to discipline the kid. And even the parents are against smacking, I wouldn't think twice about giving them a slap on the back of their legs. Nothing wrong with a slap light enough to not bruise or mark the skin, but a slap har enough to teach me not to do it again.

no one has the right to physically discipline a child that is not their own

Next time just smack the smug right off their little spoiled faces. Goddammit, be a man!

wwerulez14 6

It's not even that. No offense towards any parents but, parents these days seem to let their kids go off on their own too much. They let them get away too often, etc. That "kids will be kids" crap may make sense sometimes, but not always. Things like this is where those laws against child abuse are a tad too strict. You should be allowed to AT LEAST spank your children. I don't mean like "grab the belt and go to town", just a few light, open-palm hits to let them know if they're gonna be a little brat, they're gonna get their ass beat. Even a light smack to the head works fine. Anyway, that's my opinion on the matter; haters- HATE AWAY.

lol a smack wud be letting the kid off easy. back in my day me and my brother wud get the belt.

I can take on 21 five year olds at the time.

A belt my dad ripped a big branch off the tree and beat me.

I feel bad for you. However, it's quite an experience for the memory books.. or the parents.

joekr 0

they can probably spell better than you too, it's "spoiled"..noob

FFML_314 11

Well, we all know there's a good chance they can punctuate and capitalize better than you.

Joe- please remember that it was the English who invented English, ironically enough (yes I realize that it is a Germanic language with Latin influence). There are a few words that they spell differently, so don't be a moron and think they are wrong when YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS AN IDIOT!!! GODDAMMIT!! Sorry...I was doing well there for a while.

actually in the united kingdom the past tense uses a t not ed ... we dropped it in english but they kept it... so technically op is correct

'Spoiled' is what our children say before they have learnt to speak properly. Sorry, *learned. Big difference between English and American English. To spoil, is spoiled, was spoilt.

shut up all of u nerds Ur making my brain go so fast

kboy1234 0

Yup dumb ****... spoilt is the original past least in the united kingdom. That's the problem when this majority of this so called grammar nazi Americans think they no it all and don't know shit....

adaliapeace 3

#99: I find it amusing that you said that about "so-called grammar Nazi Americans," that we "don't know shit," but your comment contained numerous errors... By the way, I am a so-called grammar Nazi American, and I actually spell words correctly. Just so you know. @OP: This is part of the reason I will never baby-sit someone else's kids. My kids are the only ones I even like. When my kids are brats, I know I can punish them without worrying about someone else's standards for discipline, since so many parents for some reason think that spanking a kid every now and then is going to do long-term damage or something. Other people's kids... well, sad to say, most of them know if their parents don't like spanking, and also know that their parents would go off the wall at the baby-sitter for spanking their kids, and never even consider or address whatever the child did to earn the spanking.