Work: Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby...

By Dx - 06/03/2011 07:18 - United States

Today, I was babysitting for my usual. After putting the baby to sleep I put some popcorn in the microwave and went to the bathroom. When I came out the whole kitchen was filled with smoke. One of the neighbors saw and called 911. I'm out of a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 229

You deserved it 34 881

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Same thing different taste

By almost_a_pro - 23/04/2015 13:43 - Brazil - Rio De Janeiro

Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 088

You deserved it 9 076

By chinesef000d - 29/08/2009 05:38 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my apartment when I woke up to the smell of smoke. Alarmed, I ran out to the kitchen to find my roommates trying to put out a fire on the stove. As soon as they saw me, they ran for it, informing me that it was my problem now. They used my good frying pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 952

You deserved it 3 196

By fire - 15/12/2009 00:00 - United States

Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 529

You deserved it 6 596

Emergency cooking

By YoshiSqu4d - 31/07/2020 20:01

Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 130

You deserved it 362

By DookDaSpook - 11/01/2016 23:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 523

You deserved it 1 313

By RandomLG94 - 31/10/2015 20:35 - United States - Columbia

Today, I was fired from my job because I would "scare" the customers. Two days ago a coworker spilled fry oil onto the grill causing flames to singe my eyebrows and the front of my hair off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 016

You deserved it 1 575

Making a scene

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 18:00

Today, a guy I been seeing went to work and left me in his house. As I made a bagel, it burned, the smoke alarm went off. This activated a call to the fire department but I didn’t know. The fire truck showed up. Little did I know, the guy’s family was outside too, just to see what had happened, thinking I'd broken in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 224

Hurry!

By A.. - 04/06/2011 19:48 - Canada

Today, I received a phone call at work about an emergency, and that I had to come home immediately. I arrived to find that no one had been hurt and the house hadn't burned down. The "emergency" was my mom had ran out of milk and cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 935

You deserved it 3 320

By needs_another_loan - 02/10/2009 01:43 - United States

Today, while I was at work, my wife discovered you cannot put out a grease fire with water. I came home to a frantic spouse, a fire department bill, and a newly destroyed kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 611

You deserved it 2 608

By fireman - 06/10/2010 09:31 - United States

Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 190

You deserved it 8 408

LadyLane 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 16:44

If you can't make popcorn, you probably shouldn't baby sit.

christa953 12

Sunday 6 March 2011 16:38

you're out of a job, they're out of a microwave.

Comments

A100893 30

Sunday 6 March 2011 21:40

And again, another FML that reminds me of the Sims...

nixom1334 6

Sunday 6 March 2011 21:42

If you can't sucessfully cook popcorn, in the microwave no less, perhaps you shouldn't be taking cae of children in the first place

MistressKira 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 22:23

I don't see why you would go to the bathroom with popcorn in the microwave. No popcorn will take over two minutes, usually way less.

TheJtSwift 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 22:35

I WOULD MAKE YOUR DUMB ASS BABYSIT FOR FREE TO PAY OFF THE DAMAGES DONE TO MY HOUSE BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPIDITY!

chuckvargas 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 22:41

were u jacking off in the bathroom or something?

Skatejock21 0

Sunday 6 March 2011 23:04

you are dumber then a pole... 'nuff said.

brunettegurly 0

Monday 7 March 2011 3:47

if you can't make popcorn I assume you actually sit on the babies.

YouDeservedItnot 0

Monday 7 March 2011 4:20

Your failure to completely burn down the house and end your series of arsens is no reason to "FYL." At least YOUR kitchen wasn't on fire.

Uscdrew1 7

Monday 7 March 2011 5:43

Don't most microwaves have a poporn button on them?

mylifemyrules 0

Monday 7 March 2011 6:08

what the f bomb are you complaining about? it was obviously your fault for the microwave burning.

Keywords

Awkward Cars Embarrassing Transportation Family Babysitter Relatable Kids Money Thief Health Depression Mental health Work Wanker Love Bodyshaming Annoying Vacation Students Parenting Intimacy AITA First Dates Singing Animals Cats Public freakouts Weddings Cops

The Top

Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I asked my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 506

You deserved it 7 861

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636 649

You deserved it 798 139

The Top

Today, my demented little sister walked up to me and kicked me between the legs. I told my parents, but they just accusingly asked me what I did to provoke her. When I said, "Nothing", they accused me of lying. There is no justice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 121

You deserved it 3 480

Today, my father took me out for some driving lessons. Out of nowhere, a huge, apparently suicidal bird dove into the windshield, putting a crack in it. My father yelled at me as if it was my fault, and is demanding I pay for the repairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 134

You deserved it 3 845

Today, I've been using a lot of Flonase recently for my stuffy nose, and my 4 year-old happens to call it "mommy's special nose medicine" out loud all the time. My neighbors now think I do cocaine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 699

You deserved it 245

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 650

You deserved it 30 704

Today, I got expelled from school. I was walking down a flight of stairs when I tripped and bumped into a kid ahead of me by mistake. He fell forward and took half a dozen people down with him. The staff think I did it on purpose, and there's talk of charges being pressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 496

You deserved it 4 413

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 342

You deserved it 2 797

Same thing different taste

Emergency cooking

Making a scene

Hurry!

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