Kids: Today, I was babysitting an eleven year old boy. He decided we... - FML

By xoVioLoveox - 10/03/2009 02:04 - United States

Today, I was babysitting an eleven year old boy. He decided we should play with nerf guns with velcro tips. I shot him in the crotch accidentally, and the dart stuck on his pants wiggling for about a full minute before his dad walked in to find us both staring at his son's crotch, giggling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 276

You deserved it 13 269

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Ballshot

By Anonymous - 02/12/2022 14:00

Today, I shot my boyfriend in the balls by mistake, twice. First it was a paintball gun I was using with my nephew, then it was a slingshot I use to scare away the bird who keeps eating fish from my pond. He is now sat icing his groin acting like I did it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 294

You deserved it 964

Nerf bullets

By aproudmom - 16/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Glen Head

Today, after work I came home to find my sons trying to use my tampons as nerf bullets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 301

Counterstrike

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 05:40 - United States

Today, I took my 8 year-old nephew to Laser Tag for his birthday party. I reluctantly was forced into playing one game. Apparently, no one explained the rules to one child, and instead of 'shooting' me with his laser pointer, he kicked me straight in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 375

You deserved it 3 495

Nutshot

By Unwilling Target - 03/10/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, my dad decided to test if Nerf guns actually hurt by sneaking up on me and shooting me with one. He missed; however, when he shot at me again, he hit my cat on my lap, causing my poor cat to run away. After desperately trying to apologize to my cat, he then shot at me a THIRD time, nailing me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 153

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 269

You deserved it 3 557

By myfamilyisodd - 15/10/2011 17:05 - United States

Today, I had to take my son to the emergency room for shooting himself in the ass with a BB gun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 470

You deserved it 5 233

By sore - 21/10/2009 08:27 - Australia

Today, I was paintballing when I got shot in the stomach and winded. As I was gasping for breath on the ground, someone came up and shot me point blank in my crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 262

You deserved it 6 677

By maybe? - 11/02/2015 16:11 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 553

You deserved it 3 996

By calamity janet - 14/11/2018 22:00

Today, my husband took me to an airsoft shop so he could try a new pistol. We went on the range to shoot it, but while he was loading it went off and shot me. I was only wearing my leggings, so I felt the full power of that BB as it traveled at 200 feet per second at my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 952

You deserved it 490

By Noname - 09/03/2009 23:36 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting my co-workers son. He was eating jell-o and spilt it on his top, so I pulled off his pj's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 992

You deserved it 6 053

Next

Top comments

ChaosZirconia 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 16:07

That's actually pretty funny. Only an idiot would hear the explanation and find something wrong with that. So, uh, what's the big deal?

Yunie_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 17:18

I think it would've been worse had it been the mom who walked in. Maybe that would've been FML worthy.

Comments

aifen7053 1

Sunday 22 January 2012 21:12

Please don't tell me you got fired :/

6demon6spawn6 12

Saturday 7 June 2014 20:05

right, "accidentally"

mister_amador 4

Sunday 8 June 2014 0:06

P

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 8 July 2014 4:02

I bet the dad got a laugh out of that as well...at least I think he would have

PiNYANo 11

Wednesday 4 February 2015 0:21

Okay then.......

Scarylizard1798 23

Tuesday 30 June 2015 21:59

Misunderstandings that lead to jail time #got em ??

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 168

You deserved it 2 955

Today, I agreed to go on a bike ride with my boss, even though I think he's crazy. We rode for a few miles, then he decided it was time to merge onto the freeway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 79

The Top

Today, my mom asked me to back up her phone. When I downloaded all of her pictures and checked to make sure they were all saved, I accidentally saw the topless photos she's been sexting my dad. I can erase the files, but not the images in my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 728

You deserved it 791

Today, after I explained to my waitress that I have an allergy to butter, she nonetheless put some on my baked potato. When I had her get me another, without butter, she came back with one and then asked if I would like butter with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 855

You deserved it 3 544

Today, the horn in my car decided to malfunction. It honked continuously for an hour as I drove down the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 417

You deserved it 3 000

Today, a guest came to the front desk and pretended to have a gun under his shirt while demanding passes to the water park. He was shocked when I had security remove him - he thought it was a funny joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 524

You deserved it 106

Today, rather than age gracefully my parents have decided they’re going to be the witch and wizard of our neighbourhood, meaning they grow herbs, redecorated the house atrociously, swapped their clothes for dresses and robes, and smoke questionable tobacco in wooden pipes. God they’re so embarrassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 1 000

Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 407

You deserved it 40 103