Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML
Today, as I was taking care of my mom while my dad was at work, she fell asleep. This would be fine, except she has one of the worst cases of sleep apnea ever recorded. Her snores are so loud, they almost sound like gunshots. I can't leave her alone or block out the sound in case she stops breathing for too long. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML
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Top comments
Purpl3_Ninja 5
At least she cares :D
ChucktheNorris 0
Well at least you won't die now..
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Comments (140)
docscientist 10
Would be so bad if she woke you up with a handjob? I'm here to help make the best out of a tiresome situation.
MineIsBigger 5
I'd prefer a *******.
Dracoboxer357 36
Lmfao!! Then you'd know she REALLY cared! :D Merry Christmas btw! Or seasons greetings....whatever. :)
JayElleBee 15
See a doctor. If he gives you the all clear, and she keeps doing it, make her sleep on the couch. Good god. I would have smothered her after the first day. Dx
metalflower00 11
When I was younger I could hear my dad from across the house snoring every night. I would sometimes have to go check his breathing because he would stop snoring and I would be scared he wasn't ok. But I always thought to listen for the breathing and not just wake him up. Maybe you can talk your wife into paying attention before rushing to wake you.
ilovesarcasm 18
OP, you might not know this but you sound like a cat with a hairball flying out of both ends while you snore. You're asleep and this heinous sound is followed by silence, scaring your wife into an insomnia induced frenzy that will never end unless you go see a doctor. You're loved. Be happy.
birds_fml 7
I bet you stop breathing when you stop snoring. That's about how often people stop breathing when they have sleep apnea... every hour. You should see a doctor.
bettyboop1288 0
I know how she feels. F Her L for caring so much she can't sleep!
bugmefmlnotnow 7
I wake my gf sometimes because of this. Just a light tap here or there to see if she moves then she's back to sleep.
deadxmau5 6
Im pretty sure I've read this fml before
thecovert 7
Get a CPAC before she is right.
Ecklcakes 15
To be fair, when you sleep you do sometimes look quite dead ;)