Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML
Today, as I was taking care of my mom while my dad was at work, she fell asleep. This would be fine, except she has one of the worst cases of sleep apnea ever recorded. Her snores are so loud, they almost sound like gunshots. I can't leave her alone or block out the sound in case she stops breathing for too long. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML
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Top comments
Purpl3_Ninja 5
At least she cares :D
ChucktheNorris 0
Well at least you won't die now..
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Comments (140)
Ciraxas 7
Try presenting this idea to her. What would she do if you died in the middle of the night? Call the morgue a few hours earlier? Honestly, the only difference waking you up makes is a lack of sleep for the both of you.
RadioOctopus 16
teach her how to subtly poke you or check for a heartbeat
littlecityof 3
Perhaps you have sleep apnea, get it checked out
theonlysweetpea 10
My mother used to do that to me so i started locking my door. I'm a monster when I first wake up but she convinced herself that I shouldn't be mad if she's making sure I'm alive. OP, I suggest you talk to your wife...
kittykatkupkake 1
At least she cares, but before she goes "oh my god he's dead! I have to wake him up to make sure he's not!" suggest to her that maybe she could feel your heartbeat or put her ear to your mouth and make sure you're breathing. Just a suggestion.
jay1010 0
atleast she cares about you what if u die u would regret her checking
ZenMasta 5
do the same thing to your wife
bizarre_ftw 22
Warn her to stop or you'll get a separate bedroom. If she doesn't actually do it and lock the damn door and put loud music on to scare her
Glitterprincess 8
It probably scares the crap out of her. I dated a guy who had sleep apnea and it scared me when he would stop breathing. About every 5 minutes. Definitely see a doctor and get it checked out, it can kill you.
spikedrummer49 6
Buy a CPAP machine...