Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML
Today, as I was taking care of my mom while my dad was at work, she fell asleep. This would be fine, except she has one of the worst cases of sleep apnea ever recorded. Her snores are so loud, they almost sound like gunshots. I can't leave her alone or block out the sound in case she stops breathing for too long. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML
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Top comments
Purpl3_Ninja 5
At least she cares :D
ChucktheNorris 0
Well at least you won't die now..
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Comments (140)
DaisyPink 6
Quit being so stubborn, go to the doctor, get your sleep apnea machine and then maybe you BOTH can get some sleep!! BY THE WAY, F her Life for NEVER being able to get some sleep without worrying she might lose her life partner if she allows herself to rest.
hateevryone 15
well at least you have somebody who is concerned.
odexy 12
She's kind of an idiot if she wakes you up every time. Most people should realize there are quite a few ways to see if a sleeping person is alive other than waking them up. :/
mmneff 2
You may have sleep apnea!! Please get checked!! My brother died from it!!
KiddNYC1O 22
She's definitely the one for you.
perdix 31
Instead of checking to see if you're dead, she should put a pillow on your face to make sure.
samarch0079 0
Dude get your friggen sleep apnia fixed& she won't do it!
StephanyTheSheep_fml 4
Well atleast now you know you won't die in your sleep
eatsleepjb 8
That would be really annoying, but it's sweet that she cares so much about you
alycion 39
My husband has asthma and sleep apnea. He does a Weird breathing thing cause of the cats. I just wake him 15 times a night. I just asked him if he wrote this one.
Babydoll4ever 7
Well, did he?