Mr Where ever I want to be, usa 35 years-old In a relationship
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML
Today, my mother told me I looked like a hooker in my wedding dress. Thanks mommy. FML
Today, my business is doing so badly that people are teaching their kids to drive in the empty parking lot. FML
Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML
Today, I found out why my room-mates and I have been ill for the past week. Apparently a rodent climbed into our water cooker and died. I have been drinking tea and eating noodles that have been tainted by a corpse all this time. FML
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