Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up at 3 a.m. because my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. I went off to the guest room to try to get back to sleep. Eventually I fell back asleep. Then I had a dream that my wife was snoring loudly enough to wake me up. It woke me up. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
Today, I was awoken by my wife patting my head and talking in her sleep, asking, "Who is this? Who am I touching?" She then rolled over and farted on me. FML
Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML
Today, as I was taking care of my mom while my dad was at work, she fell asleep. This would be fine, except she has one of the worst cases of sleep apnea ever recorded. Her snores are so loud, they almost sound like gunshots. I can't leave her alone or block out the sound in case she stops breathing for too long. FML
Today, and for the past four years, the only time my husband stops snoring while asleep is so that he can fart. FML
Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML
Today, it's 2am. I've been trying to get to sleep for the past two hours next to my snoring boyfriend. Every time I nudge him to shut him up, his body tenses, he farts, then goes straight back to snoring. FML
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML
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Top comments
Purpl3_Ninja 5
At least she cares :D
ChucktheNorris 0
Well at least you won't die now..
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Comments (140)
emvictoria 9
Wow how annoying, but at least you know she cares :)
marpay 11
Maybe you have sleep apnea. I would see a doctor if your wife is that concerned.
mom2pen 4
I agree, this can lead to stroke. Get it checked. My brother and dad both have it. My brother never fell into deep sleep.
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
My brother had it too, it can be scary because he wouldn't breathe for a couple seconds at a time, now he sleeps with a oxygen mask, problem solved. :)
wisese 0
Every single male in my family has it. It affects every aspect of your life if it goes untreated. My dad had a heart attack at 45, but is healthier now than before. My brother was falling asleep in class before he got treated.
djmacncheeze 6
My mom has it and she uses a CPAP.
my2centsworth 15
I'm sure it's frustrating to be awakened so often , but her concern may be valid. See a doctor about possible sleep apnea and set her mind at ease so you can get some rest.
lpecac 6
This was a nice contrast to all who are complaining about their significant other's snoring.
juliajealousyy 1
That's kinda cute, that she cares THAT much that you dont die...
armywife0609 4
wow does she not sleep since she wakes you up every hour? fyl
TheDrifter 24
Maybe she sleeps during the day?
FYLDeep 26
She sounds a bit paranoid. If she's waking you up every time you stop snoring, then she must be spending the night awake watching you sleep. And that's just creepy.
docscientist 10
Or she tuned herself to wake up when she stops hearing him.
FYLDeep 26
I've heard about women being capable of some other worldly shit, but that would be real sneaky. I somehow 'trained' myself to wake up when I hear loud obnoxious sounds, but it would be a lot harder to wake up when the loud obnoxious sounds stop.
A100893 30
It's better than her smothering you to keep you silent so she can sleep. She loves you. (Record your snores, put them on loop, and play them all night for her. You might wanna get some earplugs if you can't handle hearing yourself snore.)
MineIsBigger 5
my wife already recorded my snoring a few times and played it for me. strange enough, sometimes my snoring wakes ME up!
smilingj13 1
Sleep apnea can kill, get it checked.