philitron128

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huskeyinthewindow, candy land
33 years-old
Saturday 12 December 1992
complicated

A propos de Philitron128

I have a surprise in my pants and it rhymes with menis...... That's right a keychain!

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Philitron128's favorite FMLs

By RachelDC - 03/07/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

agreeclassic 75 189

vote type 1 5 664

By Silver_Samurai - 09/02/2012 03:24 - Netherlands

Today, I had a technical skill test as a nurse. My objective was to help the patient defecate, but my opening sentence came out as: "Hello, I'm Jan. I'm here to help you take a shit." FML

agreeclassic 25 722

vote type 1 10 515

By notfatanymore - 13/11/2011 20:50 - Germany

Today, the guy I've recently started seeing confided that he's relieved I'm on the heavier side, and that he has a thing for watching chubby women eat. I just reached my ideal weight after losing 40 pounds. FML

agreeclassic 38 397

vote type 1 4 112

Creepy

By bubba - 17/10/2011 10:02 - China

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

agreeclassic 58 476

vote type 1 5 391

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

agreeclassic 31 345

vote type 1 6 844