Animals and Health: Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually...

By How? - 29/09/2018 10:30 - United States - Glasford

Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 015

You deserved it 206

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Same thing different taste

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 888

You deserved it 3 632

By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 17:45

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 992

You deserved it 2 220

Flash, ah ah!

By Dumb, Dumber, and Dumberer - 12/10/2022 20:00

Today, a bird ran into my window. My overzealous cat ran at it like the Flash and smashed his face in the window. He yelped and ran away, then as I was running to see if he was OK, I slammed my face in the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 807

You deserved it 257

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 163

You deserved it 4 372

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 374

You deserved it 1 109

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 736

You deserved it 8 408

By E or - 13/07/2010 13:41 - United States

Today, I flew a toy airplane into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 890

You deserved it 40 213

By Mr.P - 21/10/2011 15:35 - United States

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 220

You deserved it 3 255

By nothingisreal69 - 01/03/2011 22:21 - Reserved

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 304

You deserved it 13 339

By Wellthisishawkward - 14/08/2015 22:40 - United States

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 732

You deserved it 2 891

cacheson 41

Saturday 29 September 2018 17:58

Birds crash into many things: windshields, windows, trees, etc. Your face is not exempt from this

wanted_2_want 40

Saturday 29 September 2018 18:12

It also happens in movies. Like horror movies from the 70’s?

Comments

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

Saturday 29 September 2018 17:36

waitwut?

Charlie Given 26

Saturday 29 September 2018 17:38

Is your name Elmer Fudd 😂😂

cacheson 41

Saturday 29 September 2018 17:58

Birds crash into many things: windshields, windows, trees, etc. Your face is not exempt from this

wanted_2_want 40

Saturday 29 September 2018 18:12

It also happens in movies. Like horror movies from the 70’s?

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 30 September 2018 2:47

60’s Alfred Hitchcock, right?

TheSminty1 17

Saturday 29 September 2018 20:04

In cartoons they fly *around* your head.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 29 September 2018 20:34

Meep! Meep! I hope you have your Acme Rocket Skates on!

graayfox215 15

Sunday 30 September 2018 6:40

Haven’t you heard? The bird is the word

MythyPan 3

Tuesday 6 November 2018 23:37

poor bird

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The Top

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 730

You deserved it 4 480

Today, while playing paintball, a shot ricocheted off a wall and slammed into my nuts. I told the other team I was out and tried to run out of the field, but as I was jogging to the door I was hit again in the balls. My friend saw this and dropped his gun, laughing. It hit me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 028

You deserved it 704

The Top

Today, I went to my favorite all you can eat buffet. The cook tapped my shoulder and told me to stop eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 435

You deserved it 15 851

Today, I lost my cell phone. Since I sleep on the couch, I started looking through the cushions. I didn't find my phone, but after 6 months of uncomfortably sleeping on the couch, I find out I'm sleeping on top of a pull out bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 695

You deserved it 61 277

Today, I found out my parents only had me in an attempt to fix their relationship. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 064

You deserved it 1 387

Today, I woke up to a bunch of email notifications confirming all the drunken purchases I made last night on Amazon. Most of them can't be cancelled. This is the fourth time in a month. An "ironic" wolf-howling-at-the-moon t-shirt anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 139

You deserved it 36 540

Today, I got a promotion. I was really excited until I realized that the only friend I had to celebrate with was my pet cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 784

You deserved it 5 366

Today, my boyfriend is spending a lot of time hyping up his female best friend who is participating in a modeling competition, trying to get her to win. When I asked this guy to help support my small business, he said he, “didn’t have time” to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 068

You deserved it 157

Same thing different taste

Flash, ah ah!

Snap!

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