Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Nice try
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
Sorry, but…
Today, I was at a waterpark with my friends, waiting in line for about 45 minutes to go on the biggest ride there. When it was finally our turn, the lifeguard at the top pulled me over and measured me to see if I was tall enough. I wasn't. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Baywatch
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Bodyshaming
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML
In space no one can hear you fart
Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
Top comments
scorpiogirl666 0
"what I assumed was him checking me out" stuck up much?
kristina3514 0
where does it say she's fat? She could just have a really scrawny boyfriend!
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Comments (148)
DangerousBabee 0
Lol i bet this is what happened: Life guard: umm..sorry ma'am the weight limit is 300 pounds. you: 300 pounds!?! BITCH! IM 165 HOW YOU DOIN'! .................. *goes down slide and crashes into little kid* LMAO xD is your name resputia? tell norbit i said "how yu derrin!"
jasax1 0
I really wish I could read all the moderated comments. Look, you're not fat. But, you really shouldn't be concerned with what other guys think of you if you have a boyfriend. So don't even be upset about it. Maybe your boyfriend is just scrawny. But if you are upset about your appearance, then you and your man could make a pact to start going to the gym together, so you can build your confidence, and he can bulk up a little. It is a great bonding experience.
24788 6
lol, that's what you expect them to say.
crazieeli 0
wow.. how embarrassing! but at least your bf doesnt really mind (?) :T
1337Steph 0
#60 - A size fourteen is huge, especially if you're short like that girl mentioned. Yeah everyone can't be a size 0, but it's also disgusting to be fat too unless you have health issues that cause you to be fat. I weigh 120 pounds, I'm 5'6, and I wear a size 2 and still have a normal bulge on my stomach. So for me to be a fourteen, I would have to be hitting the 190's category, which would make me obese if I were around 5'2 or 5'1. Which #40 would be around if she were "quite short".
TheECP 1
You have a boyfriend, why should you assume or even care if a guy is checking you out? And it was a safety concern. Your boyfriend obviously doesn't care about your weight, so regardless of your weight, you don't even need to be self conscious about it, why is this even an FML?
cucuto89 0
You should have offered to flash him, then he would have let you ride in front.
effmylifexx 0
#39...do you have friends?
FFPianoDude 2
aw that sucks
Dorque 0
Why do so many people automatically assume that every male who looks at them is "checking them out", even when said male is doing a job that requires them to look at the people they're serving? My favourites are always the people who assume that their waiter/waitress or cashier at the grocery store is "checking them out". Get over yourselves. #54 - hardly. I noticed THAT first.