Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Nice try
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
Sorry, but…
Today, I was at a waterpark with my friends, waiting in line for about 45 minutes to go on the biggest ride there. When it was finally our turn, the lifeguard at the top pulled me over and measured me to see if I was tall enough. I wasn't. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Baywatch
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Bodyshaming
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML
In space no one can hear you fart
Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
Top comments
scorpiogirl666 0
"what I assumed was him checking me out" stuck up much?
kristina3514 0
where does it say she's fat? She could just have a really scrawny boyfriend!
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Comments (148)
pancakelover 0
#24, I lol'd too....
hyper12332 0
i agree with 25, if you have a boyfriend why would you care if he was checking you out or not? this isnt even a fml, it however could have been a fml if the lifeguard didnt tell you to sit at the back..."today, i went on a two person slide with my bf, we ended up front flipping because of my weight and i now have a broken nose from face planting, fml"
jillz 0
YDI
anonymous666_fml 0
these comments are harsh...
BrownieBoy90 0
Yeah I agree with #34...
nidiff 0
i remember reading this FML already...someone is not very creative and feels the need to take other people's FML's! tsk tsk
kellster 2
When a guy looks at you, sure, he's "checking you out", meaning he's checking to see if he finds you attractive or not. Being checked out doesn't guarantee a positive reaction in any way whatsoever! But that's a total aside from the fact that he was working and doing his job, which happens to involve sizing up pairs of people to gauge who the heavier one is. It wasn't a judgement, it was just a simple statement of where you both had to sit for safety's sake. That's his job. So you're heavier than your bf. Who cares? Did you not know that before, or are you just offended because either a) someone had the "nerve" to point it out, or b) that you thought someone who was busy doing his job had the hots for you, even though you're attached and (presumably) not looking, anyway? Either way, I'm not finding a lot of sympathy, here. I wouldn't say you "deserved" this, because "this" is nothing more than a case of a guy doing his job and keeping you safe. If you're not happy with your body, that has nothing to do with him.
omglyktotally78 0
YDI for being a fatass bitch and trying to kill your poor boyfriend by getting in front....It's funny you think he's checking you out when in reality you're a fat nasty slob and you happen to be full of yourself.....you should get up off your fatass instead of bitching about it on the computer and go work your fatass out so you won't be so "heavy" and have to sit in the back in order for your disgusting fatness to not kill your boyfriend or anyone else around you....I bet you were wearing a two piece too cuz you thought you looked good in it....EWW!!
poobear 0
ydi for being fat and thinking he was checking you out. i hate hate hate fat people who think theyre hot shit youre disgusting put down the fork and hit the gym
cheeseandchips 0
My ex boyfriend was tall and skinny, and I'm quite short and a size 14. What makes you think whoever wrote this is super-fat?