Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Nice try
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
Sorry, but…
Today, I was at a waterpark with my friends, waiting in line for about 45 minutes to go on the biggest ride there. When it was finally our turn, the lifeguard at the top pulled me over and measured me to see if I was tall enough. I wasn't. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Baywatch
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Bodyshaming
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML
In space no one can hear you fart
Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
Top comments
scorpiogirl666 0
"what I assumed was him checking me out" stuck up much?
kristina3514 0
where does it say she's fat? She could just have a really scrawny boyfriend!
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Comments (148)
pinkuggs4ever 0
Girl it's okay. I'm heavier than my boyfriend. =P Ge plays maad sports though and I don't do shit.
crazeh_monkeh 0
Just so everyone knows, It is pretty reasonable for her to weigh more than her boyfriend. I weigh less than my girlfriend, and she isn't fat. The problem is that I weigh just under 120, which is ridiculous considering that I am pretty much spot on 6 foot.
abylaunch 10
YDI for asuming that just because a guy is looking at you it means he actually likes what he sees. Why are so many girls like that? the second someone looks in there direction they asume they're being checked out.
alson 0
F off number 2
klpryde 0
THE FACEBOOK HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE YOUR GF TO FIGURE OUT YOU'RE CHEATING ON HER QUIZ: Question #1: Does your girlfriend use facebook? Answer: Yes YOUR RESULT: PRETTY ******* SOON!
sophie55 0
That sucks I am soooo sorry. I would have kicked him so he would not be able to have kids for 25 years .. ha!
stepup0220 0
well that doesn't necessarily mean you're fat. is your boyfriend really skinny?
Emilyroxx 3
I agree with number 127. Why would you even care if your boyfriend weighs less? he's just doing his job.
dopebaby420 0
Maybe you should be less of a disgusting pig.
llllJakubllll 0
Haha you are fat enough that you need to sit at the back of tube and you actually thought someone was checking you out. It's the lifeguards fml for having to deal with a land whale in denial.