Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML
Today, I was at a waterpark with my friends, waiting in line for about 45 minutes to go on the biggest ride there. When it was finally our turn, the lifeguard at the top pulled me over and measured me to see if I was tall enough. I wasn't. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML
Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML
Today, I was at a water park when my stomach started to hurt. I didn’t think anyone was behind me so was I ripped ass so hard, I almost shat myself. However, there was someone behind me, and the look they gave me was disturbing. FML.
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I worked at my job at an amusement park at one of the roller coasters. I have to go around and make sure that every seat belt is around the passenger. I saw my boyfriend in a seat and ran over to say hi. I saw a girl next to him. I had to strap down my cheating boyfriend and the new girl. FML
Today, after jumping into a public swimming pool, the female lifeguard, who I have had a crush on for years whistled at me. When I got out of the water, she handed me the bathing suit I'd apparently lost. FML
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Top comments
scorpiogirl666 0
"what I assumed was him checking me out" stuck up much?
kristina3514 0
where does it say she's fat? She could just have a really scrawny boyfriend!
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Comments (148)
RedJester23 6
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA that is hilarious F your boyfriend's life
RuralNinja 0
Lose some weight then tubby.
Persisted 0
Couple of things that don't help sympathy. "Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he proceeded to say, "Heaviest in back." FML" 1. "Assumed was him checking me out" That's pretty presumptuous and conceited. There is no denying it. He's a LIFEGUARD, last time I checked lifeguards don't go around blindfolded. 2. "I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down" Doesn't mean the lifeguard is rude. If he had gone into your face and said that comment, then he would be rude. But he didn't. In fact, how did you know he was talking about you and not just looking at the people going onto the slide? Self-conscious much?
ocean3684 0
maby your boyfriend is just really skinny
shanyo 0
what a dick. he should have just let it go.. people don't know when to close their mouths sometimes.
un_known_fml 0
You know, the lifeguard is not prejudiced - so maybe you should check if you do need to lose a few pounds.
theodivine 0
Hey, just because you are heavier than your boyfriend doesn't mean you're fat. I'm a size 8, and my last boyfriend weighed less than me, and I'm definitely not fat, he was just scrawny. These people calling you fat are just disappointed with their own boring lives and want to make someone else feel worse than they already do about their sad insignificance. Stay strong.
sama_fml 0
ignore all those people calling you fat, i bet they're even fatter than you in real life, but are so insecure about themselves, they decide to take it out on you. i'll guarantee you at least half the people saying "you're so fat" need to hit the gym themselves. and as for the lifeguard, he wasn't being mean, just frank. maybe the other people were all skinny, i dunno, but don't take it personally.
DancePro 0
Aww........ I'm sorry! F that stupid lifeguard!!
roundnproud 7
i have yet to date a girl who, in proportion to height, weighs less than me haha... not saying much considering my weight but still