Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my family and I watched Madagascar 2. When we got to the part where Gloria the hippopotamus is praised for her chunkyness, my little sister looked at me and said, "If you were a hippo, maybe then you would get a date." FML
Today, I saw a kid getting bullied; a girl was hitting him in the head. After having an inner struggle with what to do, I tried to stop them. Both kids then turned on me, and called me a "hippo". FML
Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
Today, I went to the mall. A little girl was walking around and telling everyone that they were pretty. When she got to me, she gave me a disgusted look and walked away. FML
Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML
Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML
Today, at the supermarket, my mother stopped in the middle of a lane and imitated a gorilla as a way of asking me from far away if I wanted any bananas. FML
Today, while shopping for groceries, a small child pointed at my face and exclaimed : "DOGGIE!" FML
Today, while working as a swim instructor, I started singing the hokey pokey to get all the kids used to putting their faces in the water. One of the kids was covering his ears. When I asked him why, he said "because you were singing." He's 3. FML
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Top comments
slushpup9696 12
So... you're looking for a mate?
apv0222 0
Little kids and their honesty...
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Comments (244)
XenaWP 6
141 - how do you know what religion ANYONE is? We don't all parade our beliefs with our usernames.
XenaWP 6
Also, 141- your picture.. What if it's cigarettes? Or alcohol? If someone can't go a day without thinking about them should they never give them up? Doesn't sound like the best advice you're giving right there...
bizarre_ftw 22
She Is getting coal
bizarre_ftw 22
1 - are you a furry? (side note, apparently they used to be called plushies? Oh how the times change and yet still stay disturbing)
peachesSOS101 0
Aww stuped kids and their parents..
crist12345 0
Lol
marinus_fml 20
143. He called you stupid because of the profile picture of the person above you. Not because of your comment.
THE_A_TEEN 28
#128, This time of year??? The earliest time christmas music actually started playing here in california was 2 WEEKS AGO! This is sort of an appopriate time to start singing those damn annoying chistmas songs...
FlyingWhisps 5
Teach that young'n some manners! Smack him about and if his momma has a problem, smack her about for giving birth to him and not raising him right!
Katastrophe101 8
Well consider yourself lucky. Where I'm from in Minnesota, Menards had their Christmas display up and music playing a few weeks before Halloween.